Tuesday, August 31, 2004

big empty hole.


it had to happen: the speed bumps were taken away early in the morning yesterday, just in time for independence day today. 40-odd years of malaysian independence and you'd think that we'd be somewhat grateful for not pledging our alliegance to the japanese. there was little fanfare today, and i sailed through the day as if it felt like a sunday. not bad, that. ignorance is bliss. i realize that i've still got to get my assignments ready, and that it's a lot harder than it looks. no more last-minute assignments from me. i hope.


anyway, i got viewtiful joe today. it's hard as hell, though maybe 'adult' mode means something more than just adult content being shown. bummer. it's li vern's second last day today. i've got to get more friends to come over.

i've got to get more friends.

i'll bore myself to sleep.

Saturday, August 28, 2004


speed bumps.


the seputeh residents' association decided to install speed bumps onto the lane leading to the bridge that connects seputeh to midvalley with the aim of deterring the traffic flow coming upwards into seputeh from syed putra/the federal highway. a new road was also opened which stems from a point of syed putra that flows into old klang road, leading onto the bridge. i admit, the new road is a stroke of genius...if it'd been done 10 years earlier (and it had, only to be closed off, and re-opened). traffic from midvalley to seputeh has gotten worse, as the volume of traffic leading to the new road has increased. no doubt, it may smooth the flow leading out to seputeh, but i don't think a midway bottleneck will solve all our problems. fortunately, the situation has been somewhat quelled by the usage of temporary partitions. but it doesn't lessen the traffic flow. if we had a three-laned bridge as opposed to a two-laned bridge, then the capacity could be supported and there would be more than ample space for cars to get back onto old klang road as well as seputeh and other adjoining areas...but we don't have a three-laned bridge.


it's not so much the oncoming traffic from midvalley that's annoying. i can understand the benefits of opening the new road. it's the flow to midvalley. the bumps are awfully placed. some might say that they're tactfully and strategically placed, but i disgress. these bumps were supposed to hinder people from going into seputeh to get to midvalley. what about those poor souls from seputeh who use the route to get to midvalley, bangsar and petaling jaya? not to mention that the bumps actually do damage to the undersides of cars if taken the wrong way. and trust me, i've driven at a snail's pace on them.

some might see them as a minor annoyance. the sad part is, they actually might be permanent. i can see the intent of the sra, and i can say that it's noble, but i wish they'd just use their brains. i hope i'm wrong. but i wish they'd just take the speed bumps away. there's nothing more annoying than your undercarriage being scraped on. that's a lot more than a minor grouse.


Sunday, August 22, 2004


satisfaction.


this is my submission for the mph search for young malaysian writers contest. this is long, so...i'm not sure if i should release this wholesale or just release it as a series. but...here we go. the whole thing. all one thousand words of it.
-----------------------------------------------------
Satisfaction. You'd think that these days, it'd be easy to be satisfied. That pacification would be the new tool used to dispel any notions of conflict. Being young and idealistic, you'd normally think that the world is in your hands, yet, it wouldn't take all that much to keep yourself satisfied because you'd think that you'd have everything you'd want. Only that nobody ever taught us how to be content. Maximizing your satisfaction would become your life's goal, whether or not you'd want the perfect partner, more of an allowance to save up so that you can get your mitts on the best cellular phone, a car so that you'd be one step closer to total freedom and so that all of the good life that you'd desire would be yours for the least amount of work possible.

Our parents have endlessly chided us on about our habits. Going out only to come back late at night. The company that we keep. Academic progress. In all of this, the mess that we call life...do we even have the time to look them in the eye and honestly tell them that we'd do our utmost best, and be filial, responsible children and attend to our God-given duty? Or would we just shrug, look away and pretend to be listening, while secretly complaining about their desires behind their backs? Can escaping from what's expected of us and then turning to the things that we really want to do bring satisfaction? Ask yourself if you would feel content with your life if you chose liberty over submission.

The answer, friend, most probably...would be 'no'.

Satisfaction varies from person to person. Our goals, our dreams, our aims and objectives in life...they change, everyday. They differ drastically, not from another person's, but from our own dreams from yesterday. I believe that pursuing satisfaction is a wild goose chase; a farce. I'd rather chase dreams that I know I'd want to believe in, because chasing dreams would be less futile than claiming that we can be satisfied with our lives. Life is cyclical; life is oft-repeated. Satisfaction, sadly, is not. It's ever-expanding. Growing. It gnaws at you. Once you've had some, you'd always want more. To repeat an often heard phrase: "too much is not enough". And, sadly...it never is.

We always have our elders remind us of times when they had little. There're those humourous tales of how they had to walk kilometres and kilometres to school, how little they had, and how much the value of a ringgit was 'back in the day'. My father's family stayed in a zinc-roofed kampung hut. Now, I'm staying in a terrace house in a respectable suburb. Other tales aren't so enlightening. Remembering the Emergency period brings about grim memories. Tensions rise, tensions fall...but undoubtedly, you sense that these people, and their stories, were all told at a time when life was much simpler; the complexities of the modern world were still decades away. Everyone was happy. Everyone was content. More importantly, nobody ever thought of having more. Whatever they had was truly enough. And they appreciated it, and never took it for granted.

Fast forward to today. The world's getting smaller. Some have cited that it's the end of our society and our culture as we know it; a good work ethic and the occurrence of the upholding of moral values have eroded because the integration of certain negative elements have entered our world, holding it in peril of changing. And on top of it, the youth are regarded as being lost. Materialistic. People long for a change back to the old days, where everyone was courteous and where a true testament of harmony was seen. The truth is, despite the bounties and the riches that have graced us, we're still not satisfied with what we have. It doesn't make a difference if you're young or old, father or son; you live your life everyday with the assumption that you'll be getting more tomorrow.

You blame us for not being satisfied? You blame us for tilting the world off its axis? You blame us for introducing negativity? Frankly, you live in a dream. Stay stuck in your dream; life has come and gone for you. There's a word that can be used to describe how things move on, how desires have overcome contentment, where the realization that materialism is key to progress. There's a word that acknowledges that these are the signs of our times; that you can never stay happy for too long in one place. The word is 'change'. Life is all about it.

Satisfaction is a state of mind. But in a world like today's, ask yourself this: would you really want to be stuck in one place all the time? I dare you to move. I dare you to join the crowd. Embrace change. Make change. Be all the things that you were scared of. Take the chance to escape from your comfort zone. Be not afraid of not being satisfied; for satisfaction will only last for so long before you feel empty again. There's a void within us that can never be filled; but at least we understand that. For that matter, we've always understood it. But not many were willing to acknowledge it. There're still many who don't.

Are you really content with what you have now? Have you ever wanted to strive for more? Life is never at a standstill. If anything, life is a constant. It's going to move on, regardless of what you desire of it. Let your desires speak for themselves. Satisfaction is a dream that was swept away long ago when the world decided to move on. Maybe you missed that moment while you were sleeping. Maybe you were worried of the change that would occur. Maybe, just maybe, you weren't enticed at all. You wanted to be strong. There's no need to be afraid. There’s no need to look back. Believe it.

Ask for more.


i want to be brandon boyd.


yes, i do, so that i could:

a) be tall and more than reasonably attractive
b) sing his songs with the clarity and impact that he always projects
c) because i'd much rather be in calfornia.

SiB church, friday night (27th august), paolo, edwin, david and i will be peforming our version of deep inside from incubus. not bad, considering that this is all very last-minute work. had an audition today, they sorta loved it, even though we were all shoddy. your favourite vocalist forgot the lyrics. brilliant. but it should be okay.

lord. i hate you, boyd.

Saturday, August 21, 2004


metal gear solid.


for the last few days, li vern and i have been going ga-ga over metal gear solid 2: sons of liberty. it's quite a brilliant game, but it's got a convuluted plot. it was my first time on it, while li vern had finished it years ago when it first came out. the main reason why i wanted to get it was because i had heard about the plot...which is generally, very, very crazy. there's so much put into the game that it's scary enough that it is that you get to have patience in finishing it. but it's a rich story, i'll leave it at that. aside from that, we also have freedom fighters, from electronic arts. it's alright, i suppose, though i don't see anything remotely redeeming about it.

i'm just hoping for september to come. that'd be a good gaming month.

Thursday, August 19, 2004


quotients and potions.


as if we became charmed all of a sudden, the biz council has managed to recruit a good number of people. and all this because we came armed with a guitar and started making noise. all in all, the last few days have been fairly exciting. nagiah's classes are as appealing as ever, but i can't let the weight of two good subjects with him sway me into joining the management batch. a change of my major isn't a good thing, espeically since i've commenced my third year. but it is an option here, just that diverging off from marketing isn't brilliant. plus, i think i've completed too many subjects at this point to change majors. oh, well.

deflated --- tuesday was exciting because it was my first experience being in a car with a flat tire/tyre. a totally flat tyre, in the sense that it was literally falling off the wheel. wonderful. i'd discovered that she had a flat on her rear left on monday night. we subsequently had to crawl our way to the mechanic, since our own tyre jack wouldn't work. wonder of wonders, i've decided to use the spare for the time being. if not permanently.

i itch.


quote of the day.


mr. nagiah ramasamy (citing a quote) - "feedback is the breakfast of champions".

Sunday, August 15, 2004

stuck on the end of this ball and chain
and i'm on my way back down again
stood on a bridge, tied to a noose
sick to the stomach
you can say what what you mean but it won't change a thing
i'm sick of the secrets
stood on the edge, tied to a noose
you came along and you cut me loose


quote of the day.


Neil McCormick, Author, Journalist, Aspiring Rock Star:

Q: what do you think it is about fame that is so appealing?

A: it is external validation of the ego. it is proof that you exist. it is the keys to the kingdom. but it is all an illusion. the money’s good, though.

read the full interview here.

Saturday, August 14, 2004


jig jazz jones.


just came back from the sunrise jazz festival at mont kiara, featuring asiabeat. pretty good, it was. lewis pragasam and co. were doing the paces and dutifully making it good, plus the appearance of greg lyons made it worthwhile. and it's all free. well, kind of. i guess it was a bit more experimental than jazzy tonight, with various asian artistes appearing as well, so we had a good mix, from myanmar, vietnam, hong kong and thailand. my personal highlight of the night was when they all came together and performed that really cool asianic chill out piece [i don't know how else to describe it]. it picked up soon after during asiabeat's last set, but i had to leave because...well...we were hoping to get out before the exodus home began.

stabbing westward --- morissey and their song, the more you ignore me, is brilliant. look at it: "the more you ignore me/the closer i get/you're wasting your time". how good is that? it's brilliant. it's been playing a lot on my list. awesome stuff.

south park: chef aid. hannah got her friend to buy it for me in singapore ages ago. excellent stuff, and listened to it for the first time completely tonight while we were travelling around in li vern's song. brilliant stuff too.

it's been a good saturday night.

Friday, August 13, 2004


quote of the day.


mr. nagiah ramasamy - "the onus is on you to excel".

this is an old one, which came all the way back from the 3rd of august, during my human resource management tutorial. the dude is my lecturer/tutor, obviously. he says it as if we'd understand the meaning of onus. i guess that the cool thing about him is that he really does believe we'd get his point of view on things [most of us do, anyway]. cheers to the sir.

Monday, August 09, 2004


smelly feet and long walks.


i haven't had a monday this exhausting in ages. it's about 10 to 8 right now, and i got home about 40 minutes ago. briiliant me, choosing to take advanced business statistics, which ends at 6:30 on monday and wednesday evenings. brilliance. i don't mind it ending so late, but what i do mind is the waiting. i missed class today [the rain was nice to sleep in to], so...i was walking around the campus from 11 to 5. fun, isn't it? on the bright side, the long walk that i took from the business district back to where my car was parked [a good 10 minutes] was enjoyable, because...well...long walks are nice when they're done in the evening. a golden sun, with everything moving around you. you're sort of in a form of stillness; like a calm. okay, that sounds strange, i have to admit, but i'm sure that everyone knows that feeling.

besides that, well, it's been pretty uneventful. though not wanting to wake up for class is probably one of the more liberating things i've done in ages. now for a cold shower and tea. i'm getting soft.

Saturday, August 07, 2004


the week in review.


it was a good week. turned 21, finally got back into the academic groove and reformatted my hard drive yet again.

the daily grinds revolves again.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004


21 candles.


ever seen dead at 21? the underated jack noseworthy played a guy who had been microchipped and was about to die at 21 unless he found a solution to his problems. this was an mtv series that was shown way back, a long time ago on metrovision [anybody in kl remember that?]. anyway, 21 must be some sort of magic number. ultra. the whole point of this 21 crap is that it's a special age, i suppose. which is why turning 21 doesn't feel much different from 20. it's all the same. i guess that we're all ready to assume more responsibilities, but i don't think it's a question of how responsible you are...more of how able you are to be responsible. wonderful. i'm waxing lyrical over responsibility. well, here we are...i've got 2 hours left before my birthday runs out, and for all it's worth, it's been a pretty good day. no flat out celebrations or party or whatever, just a small thing thrown by li vern's mom who had the good nature to do it all at the last minute. i even had cake. kudos to his mom, she's great.

yesterday was awesome. justin and i embarked on a walking trek from his house to my house, just because "rambo would do it". along the way, we braved uncovered drains and wild traffic, which is a metaphor for the treacherous conditions that rambo would face while on his treks through battle. if anything, it's taught me that exercise can be fun, and that nothing should be left to chance. perfect. li vern, justin and i also put in a solid 3 hours plus of silent hill 3...it'd been a while since any of us had done that much gaming. huzzah, as they say. we've just reached silent hill.

oh, well. happy birthday to me.