sometimes you can’t make it on your own.

sometimes you can’t make it on your own.

i can’t really stop listening to this. bono wrote it for his dying father. listening to it and reading the lyrics, it sort of makes sense. so yes, it is a love song, but…there really is a difference to it. it reminds me of running to stand still from the joshua tree…but it doesn’t mean that it’s an instant throwback.
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tough, you think you've got the stuff
you're telling me and anyone
you're hard enough
you don't have to put up a fight
you don't have to always be right
let me take some of the punches
for you tonight

listen to me now
i need to let you know
you don't have to go it alone

and it's you when i look in the mirror
and it's you when i don't pick up the phone
sometimes you can't make it on your own

we fight all the time
you and i...that's alright
we're the same soul
i don't need...i don't need to hear you say
that if we weren't so alike
you'd like me a whole lot more

listen to me now
i need to let you know
you don't have to go it alone

and it's you when i look in the mirror
and it's you when i don't pick up the phone
sometimes you can't make it on your own

i know that we don't talk
i'm sick of it all
can you hear me when i…
sing, you're the reason i sing
you're the reason why the opera is in me...

where are we now?
i've got to let you know
a house still doesn't make a home
don't leave me here alone...

and it's you when i look in the mirror
and it's you that makes it hard to let go
sometimes you can't make it on your own
sometimes you can't make itthe best you can do is to fake it
sometimes you can't make it on your own

how to dismantle an atomic bomb, part 1.

how to dismantle an atomic bomb, part 1.

i'm not one to make rash purchase decisions, usually, and whenever i enter a mall i've got a vague if somewhat structured idea of what to buy. i guess that differentiates men and women...the stereotypical female impulse shopper contrasted with the typically decisive male shopper. well, today was a day where i actually bought something that i really wanted. i even went from one end of the megamall to the other to check out its availability and price. how meticulous of me. and what did i get?

the collector's edition of how to dismantle an atomic bomb. all RM 110 of it. ugh. i guess we only regret buying things after we've bought them. i could've settled for the regular cd...which really is more than enough. but when you've got a hardcover booklet with a nice box and bonus dvd...you've gotta settle for it. i mean, it looked so nice. the dvd is okay. i've gone through the whole thing. funnily enough, i haven't even listened to the music yet. i'll probably just burn it onto the pc and then leave it there, unheard. i remember listening through all that you can't leave behind repeatedly upon the first day of purchase.

one problem is that this edition doesn't have that much photography in it. the booklet is cool...hardcover bound, and it works with notebook scribblings, doodles and paintings from the band. and a photographic collage of the studio...but not many photographs. in that respect, the regular cd looked cooler.

to quote cdnow.com:

Album Description
COLLECTOR'S EDITION (LIMITED): In addition the the full CD, the COLLECTOR'S
EDITION includes a DVD with Making of the Album footage, B Roll in studio, and
Acoustic performances of 4 songs. In addition to the CD & DVD, the
COLLECTOR'S EDITION features a full color hardback book. The book includes
extracts from band members note books, original paintings, illustrations and
photography along with quotes and statistics.

but it's my bloody album. and i'm rather proud of it. just that i've got to juggle a good deal of starvation from this moment on. what's funny is that i went to the megamall to grab some paper for the charity drive as well as a string for my guitar. i found the album and then had to get home to get more money. and i tried to push the envelope by attempting to get some ps2 games.

at least i talked myself out of that. barely.

so here i am. a hundred bucks poorer, but none the better.

how do you dismantle an atomic bomb? don't build one.

where did all the time go?

where did all the time go?

it's been a tough week. what was supposed to be my break has turned into a parody of a typical week in college...without the studying. i'm not complaining...alright, let me rephrase that...i'm not complaining much because it really is my choice to do all this, but i had no idea that biz council work would be this tight. i remember helen and i sifting through workloads for the evening ball, but this is ridiculous. a charity event that basically writes itself has now been rewritten by us [rather unwillingly], and it's really affecting melissa and i. well, it's affecting melissa a lot more than it's affecting me, but...c'mon...give me a break. then again, i'm the president; and this is my job. i suppose that i'm going to get used to it. though it would've been nice if i could've slept in for a few days.

the christmas charity drive itself is going on well enough...monday starts off a another week of promotions, but instead of the usual funkyhippopotamus-diy promotional job, we're going in as a group. solidarity and convenience. rather brilliant. on the amount of stuff that we hope to collect, along with the cash that we're hoping that people will contribute [personally, i'm against the collection of money], i suppose that we can manage a fair amount. though i really have to remind people that we're not collecting junk; just stuff that's in good condition.

you'd think that people would understand that by now.

on the homefront, things are looking fine. been playing fifa like mad...cambridge united have defeated arsenal in the semi-final of the english cup to book a place in the grand final...1-0 in extra time, believe it or not. not that it'd ever happen to the real cambridge united, though i'd recommend a 3-4-3 formation with the flanks being extra effective. not that i know anything about football.

the week of video gaming and sleeping that i'd planned has come and gone...not that it's been fruitful. on another homefront triumph, i've managed to download the entire first season of the o.c.. now, the planned o.c. watching that i'd had in mind has...well, disappeared. it sucks when you've got no time to have fun. i suppose that my social life is going to come blank next as a result of all this.

the semester commences again on monday. hrm 310, issues in human resource management. just one subject for me, thank you very much. i've got games to play and series to see.

the snake returns.

the snake returns.

metal gear solid 3 is fun. although i'm not the one playing it, watching it played was an experience, especially when the one playing it takes the stealth out of the equation and replaces it with entering with tranquilizers drawn and knives ready. but i suppose that it's the only way to play the game, since we played it on very easy mode [dropping down from where we started at normal mode], and still had somewhat of a hard time with it.

as i'm typing this, justin has already finished the game [15 hours of playing time], and i suppose that he's going to replay it, properly. yes, well, that's the highlight of the weekend...even if it isn't my highlight.

relationship marketing tomorrow. i'm not at all prepared, but i guess that i'll be singing the same song as i did for stats.........i don't want to repeat it. ever.

yea, well.

brooklyn was burning.

brooklyn was burning.

i used to confuse the brooklyn bridge and the manhattan bridge as a child. even though the two of them were a few blocks away from each other, they looked so different to me. the brooklyn bridge looked like it was made of stone [i've got a funny feeling that it is, but i'm probably wrong], while the manhattan bridge was this gawdy blue...suspension bridge. in my opinion, the brooklyn bridge [as well as the queensboro bridge] best represented new york city. they looked classy, classic, yet had this current level of sophistication. they looked good. they looked appropriate. it's hard to describe what i mean. it was just a feeling. yes, i was an idiotic 5 year old. i thought that the brooklyn bridge was the manhattan bridge because it looked...better. more deserving of the name. so sue me. i was five.

though it didn't help that i continued to confuse the two bridges for the remaining four years.

anyway. the last two days have been spent using bittorent [thank you, mr. raymond, for sending me to downloading frenzy hell] to download episodes of the o.c. [thank you, ms. sharona, for sending me to orange county purgatory]. bittorent is fun. i've never really looked forward to downloading something before. i know it sounds sad, but...it's just fun. anyway, asides from that, i've managed to get through a good deal of the getaway: black monday. it's by far one of the coolest games that i've played this year. what's even funnier is how it's slated for a february release. brilliance. i love malaysian piracy. though i probably shouldn't say that too loud.

on the topic of piracy, i will buy an original copy of U2's how to dismantle an atomic bomb. even though i've got vertigo as a download, it doesn't mean that the album goes broadband for me. if there're any other U2 fans reading this...please buy the original copy, and not the bootleg. okay. that sounds like a plea that i'm not supposed to make. call it misplaced band loyalty.

also, try downloading the rolling stones' singles [the london years]. real top stuff. thank God for bittorent.

exams wise...stats was....let's not talk about that.

hrm on friday, rm on monday. wedding dinner on saturday. busy week.

song of the day: wild horses by the rolling stones. because melancholy and retrospection work better with blues-y country acoustic rock. sheer brilliance.

cereal at 4.

cereal at 4.

seeing how we're almost a quarter of an hour away from 5 in the evening on a monday, i have to say that eating corn flakes at this time is quite invigorating. i woke up at 11 this morning, and that was fine...did the usual, and then proceeded to disconnect the phone line from the modem because it was raining. and then the rain did me in. enter 5 hours later, and i'm on the couch. refreshed, yes, but ultimately rather screwed. i've got a statistics final nice and early on wednesday, and i'm quite unprepared. the usual. with scientific calculator by my side, i shall remain triumphant. though i honestly doubt all that. i guess that i don't really care. and that's quite a dangerous feeling.

i used to be such a nice boy. or maybe i'm giving myself too much credit for being 'bad'.

keep your sunday alive.

keep your sunday alive.

i remember, not too long ago, but long enough to classify as 'long ago', saturday nights were usually spent either going on road trips to faraway [national] locations or spent just...chilling out with justin's group of bangsarians. i wasn't all that younger, and i was having fun, hanging out, and just chilling. even the weekdays were spent hanging outside si wan's house [she's a hottie, really], and...well, it was quite cool. i've never actually belonged to the cool clique [though i don't really know if i'd describe it as a cool clique, but it was shitloads of fun]. i guess that identity issues and shit like that were the last things on my mind, and even my meddlesome personality issues were more than okay because...well, they were meddlesome but tolerable. even for me.

shit, how time's changed things.

over the course of the last few hours, i've discovered that...well, i'm a quasi-bum who's still as directionless as ever. which, of course, is a good thing, granted that most of us at this age are made to be like this. the question of 'what's the point of doing all this?' runs rampant, and...well, we don't really learn all that much from it. one reason why rum-coloured hair and adidas sneaks are wanted would probably be...well, let's put it this way, i'm having a quarter-life crisis, as john mayer would so put it (re: my stupid mouth, room for squares).

i've managed to [possibly] piss off my ex-girlfriend by telling her that i hate her boyfriend [truth...? i do!], while pissing off another good friend by having her fight the urge to wring my neck over being a dick about relationship matters with the aforementioned ex. plus, to add insult to injury...i totally agree with her view. that, #1, i'm being a dick and that i should let it go because hannah deserves to be happy and #2, i'm being a dick per se.

how does this connect to saturday nights? simple. here's a formula:-

events + company = less spontaneously stupid thinking from mr. tai.

i need a social life. and i don't mean taking to the empty shrimp flavoured pringles tube, or the arnott's shapes box. then again...shite, there's really no use in complaining.

now, with may ann coming back [yummy], there're a few problems:

1) a totally physical relationship doesn't work when one party wants something more
2) the biz council...i'm a terrible president and i need to be there all the time to ensure that i do a good job
3) it's hard to make out with someone when your harem has been moved upstairs, to where your uncle hangs out and watches tv all the time.

fucking briliant, eh?

it's now 20 minutes to dawn on a sunday morning. i haven't slept yet, and i'm very hungry.

i'll shut up. for now.

fire struck ramallah.

fire struck ramallah.

yasser arafat's passing is probably going to lead to a tumultuous period of palestinian history. think about it this way: the palestinian state has been dependent upon his leadership ever since he rose to power. now, with him dead...well, it's really a free-for-all. so who's going to save the day?

dubya.

george w. bush has decided to get involved, bringing along that caddy, tony blair. personally, i like blair...i really do. firstly, he's english. and secondly, he's genuine. why he's determined to play america's sidekick is beyond me, but...

let's look at it this way. bush says that he's commited to spend a part of america's capital on the securing of a palestinian state and a safer israel. that's all good, but...what about the securing of iraq first? launching a heavy assault on fallujah does not amount to securing the nation whom you so liberally freed over a year ago.
and for fuck's sake...where's osama?

back to the matter at hand: bush states that violence is going to erupt in iraq as it gets closer to the january election period. how true is that? and who's fault is that? i remember watching bbc last night, and we had dubya in all his glory, answering questions from the british press. among his quotes, and i'm paraphrasing here, was the need to be united in affirming that democracy is established in iraq.

so...would unity include invading the place without the support of the UN? if you go at it alone, then...you go at it alone. bush also has to travel through europe to garner support for his cause...a cause that should be looked at with more than reasonable doubt. be it as it may, regardless of whether or not the current american administration has ties to the middle east, logic should be the rule of the day...clean up the mess that's already been started in iraq before rubbing your nose someplace else.

though it's like he'd listen to anything i'd say.

new song!

new song!

hey, kids, new song...by me, no less. it's called maybe, these are the lyrics...now, if only you people actually asked me to send this stuff to you. but to no avail.

note: file under saccharine sweet mush.
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maybe i'm just looking back to things that i could never change
maybe i'm just feeling that it'd be nicer if things could stay the same

can't be alone anymore
can't be alone anymore

maybe i'm forgiving myself for all the things that i'd do
maybe i'm just longing for a chance to be a part of you

can't be alone anymore
can't be alone anymore

i know i'll move
i know i'll move
i know i'll move
maybe

maybe i can wait for bliss and pray for you to save my soul
maybe i'll just hesitate and wait until i grow old

can't be alone anymore
can't be alone anymore

i know i'll move
i know i'll move
i know i'll move
maybe

mushy song of the day.

mushy song of the day.

i know we're all suckers for mushy songs. they're in our system...and we can't do without them, likewise. anyway, i heard a clip of jars of clay's 'show you love' in the spanglish trailer. it's what you'd expect from jars of clay, but it's really a sweet song nonetheless. here's a small sample. you've got to listen to it to overcome to sappyness of it all.
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speak...say the words that no one else will ever say
love...love like the world we know is over in a day
i'm gonna show you love in every language
i'm gonna speak with words that need no form
i'm gonna give you what you never had before
you're beautiful and i'm weakened by the force of your eyes
so shine bright to separate the truth from the lies

i'm gonna show you love

so tie me to a tree and let the smoke and ash collect
no, I won't regret to let love do what love will let
we can drown in mixed emotions
or walk an angry sea
this is the cost of being free
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mmm. the mushy song of the day.

hail to the thief.

hail to the thief.

a bit can happen in 3 days. here's a summary:

dad left. on saturday night. left me some cash. and lots of junk food. that's been appropriately downed within a few days of purchase.

network card got fried. just last night. thank goodness it wasn't the modem. went out to buy a new one just now. the marvels of convenient technology.

new hard drive and keyboard. on the afternoon of dad's departure. 120 gigas of maxtor. old hard drive subsequently almost blew as a result. miraculous.

one week to the finals. boo.

under two weeks til may ann returns. yay.

i hear strange noises coming from the back of the house. bizarre.

¿dónde está?

¿dónde está?

u2. vertigo. haven't heard a song that makes me want to jump around in a while.

yea yea yea yea yea yea yea

yea yea yea yea yea yea yea

make me kneel.

the monkey and the hare.

the monkey and the hare.

the monkey, full of life..for the hare became his wife!
the fur was white as fleece!
the finest fur in greece!
the monkey fucked the bear...no, you idiot, he fucked the hare!
can mixed breeds multiply?
who knows?..we gotta try!

the monkey, swings from trees!
the hare, runs the breeze!
together, they're supreme...or is it just a dream?
the monkey loves his bear...no, you idiot, he loves the hare!
what better drink that this...
distilled, pure monkey piss?

the monkey and the hare!
lingerie up in the air!
the hare, it likes to hop!
the monkey cummed in his sock!
the monkey and the bear...dumb fuck, it's called a hare!
thus ends the tale today...
but which one of them were gay?