Monday, March 16, 2009

Jumping ships and sharks.

I've bailed on Blogger. You can find me here now.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Red Herring Day.

I lead a blessed life.

I've been predicting the eventual drainage of whatever luck I have, but so far, the chips have been falling in my favour; everything that's resembled an obstacle has conveniently morphed itself into something pleasant. Or it's been magically wished away.

Therefore, I shall now do the familiar:

My luck's going to run out on me before I know it.

There. I've signaled the death-knell once again.

Happenstance can't be dancing with me forever.

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

All roads lead to me.

This line is disparaging: "When we fall in love, we're just falling in love with ourselves".

But there's a tinge of truth to it.

It's hard to filter through how someone feels about you, and how much of that appeals to you more than what you feel for them.

Funnily enough, we might just want to hold on to someone for the sake of how they make us feel --- and not so much about how much we might possibly feel for them.

It makes you wonder if relationships are ever truly mutual --- whether or not you're getting what you're giving...and whether or not you're getting what you're expecting.

Something real comes from the act of compromising your expectations. Readjustments. Spine reticulations.

I'm not saying that lowering your expectations will solve all your problems; you should never settle for less. But there's no harm in settling for something different.

We've beat the beaten track into submission.

Maybe it's time for a little air.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Save him.

Supersonic actuators are slowly building a crescendo in my head.

I was happier then, when my mind was at ease and my balls were firmly connected to my pelvis.

Now, every day seems surreal. Driving to work has become an adventure in itself. The people I know and the people I meet remind me of cardboard cutouts that sprang to life from some strange quarry in the back of my mind.

Then it repeats itself. An incredibly sickening, overplayed mantra that rings true for every one of us: 'there's got to be more than this'.

Some people can be incredibly satisfied with what they have. Some people are more than happy to settle for less. Some people know what they want. Some people know what they don't want.

I don't want to go thru each day like it doesn't exist. But I think I've come to a point where it doesn't really make a difference anymore.

I'm so tired.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Craters and crocks.

Living for the moment still seems to be a far better alternative to drawing up a road map.

There is no plan. There's no method to the madness.

You do what you want because you feel that it's right.

You do what you want because you feel that you want to.

You do what you want because you feel that you can.

We don't get many chances to be swept up in whatever moments we find ourselves in.

Maybe it's time we changed all that.

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Saturday, November 01, 2008

The Bend.

Belated Deepavali firecrackers are erupting on my street.

They're really annoying.

I hope they don't affect my cars.

Uno's already growing slightly cuckoo from the noise.

For the first time in weeks, I'm actually feeling quite balanced.

(Or just a bit happier.)

I'm a chippy bastard.

Monday, October 20, 2008

When the hang-ups are hung up, you're still left hanging.

For some time or other for these last two weeks, I've been wishing for something to spontaneously combust during my day.

I've been starting to feel the pull of monotony taking over. What was once drudgery has now evolved into a different kind of beast; a beast where aloofness is the norm, and where the chances of becoming wayward are as slim as a eunuch being tadpole-armed.

I don't expect excitement to be procured over the course of the immediate future. It'd just be brilliant if I could pull myself out of the hole that I've dug. The bright side of all this is that the aforementioned hole is starting to become more shallow by a will of its own.

There's got to be more than this.

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Friday, October 17, 2008

I'm so tired.

So I'm simply not going to be around anymore.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

My Paper Ring.

In my heart
My paper ring
You put it on
And I am king

In my mind
My paper ring
You put it on
And I am king.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Your way isn't the only way.

I can't sleep. There're a million things going on in my head. My usual dosage of slumber-inducing music hasn't been working the way it usually does.

I'm resigned to listening to my own songs. That usually isn't a good sign.

All the doubts, fears and thinly-veiled hopes that I've had these last few weeks have sprung up simultaneously.

I don't believe that anyone can be truly happy for too long without realizing what they've given up on. You can never totally letting go without paying some kind of price for it.

I believe that I'm doing the right thing; and that this is what I want to do. I can't be proven wrong, but I can't prove that I'm right, either.

Whatever happens will happen. That's undeniable.

But for the first time, I want to fight for something badly enough that it actually makes me get off my fat arse and do it.

I'm not ready to move on without a fight. I don't care if I'm going down either with a bang or a whimper. I'm not going to take this sitting down; I'm going to bring the mountain to you.

You know that this was going to happen.

There's not much of a point in turning back now.