Monday, March 31, 2003

a glutton is "one who eats to excess; one who eager of anything in excess; a carnivorous quadruped" - new roget's thesaurus and webster's dictionary, 1992 [it's pretty sucky...i wouldn't recommend it]. a "quadruped" is an animal with four legs or feet...so i guess that we don't count, though it was the last definition that i was hoping to touch on. nonetheless, on with the show...

yesterday, out of sheer force of will, i think i took gluttony to a whole new level. i was at hartz chicken buffet [the place is the bomb, if i haven't said it before over and over again], and i managed to break justin's record of 12 pieces of chicken...by about a quarter of one. after the whole experience, i felt sick, loaded, bloated and...sick. so, before anything else, let me make one thing clear: when attempting to break any records at hartz, eat the mashed potatoes and their sauce last. that's right, last. so that it doesn't make you hurl before finishing the last piece of chicken. which is what i did.

as hard as it sounds, i'm rather impressed with myself. it's not about storage space of the stomach...it's about how much of tastelessness you can tolerate. i know that justin stopped at 12 because it was a good idea, even though he could've gone on...and i doubt that i've pushed the envelope. i prefer to think that i've opened new doors to the people who want to make 13 pieces...and those who want to go beyond. but the next time i go to hartz, i'll be eating sensibly and civically...that is, unless justin beats the record again...then i guess we'll kind of have a fight going on.

to the death, no less.

Saturday, March 29, 2003

from cnn.com: President Bush, accusing Saddam Hussein's regime of committing scores of atrocities against the Iraqi people and prisoners of war, said those responsible will be "hunted relentless and judged severely."

the people are waiting, i suppose.
am i trying to enjoy my last few days of freedom before my parents come home?

you betcha.

is it working?

no.

am i miffed?

yea.

to quote michelle, "it's all part of the game".

...and it looks like no penang.

pity.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

this is something that i have to put down. i'm not looking for any pity or sympathy whatsoever...the only reason why i'm doing this is probably because i don't have the courage or the heart to say this to anyone face-to-face, and since almost no one comes here to read all this, i can save myself some embarassment, and if you're reading this right now, then at least you know i tried.

my parents are coming back on april fool's day. i don't know what time, i can't really be bothered...it'd probably be in the morning, just like me when i first came back. they'll be coming back together, but after that, i don't really know if they'd be coming home together. to put it bluntly, there's a possibility that they might be getting a divorce. i've known about this for a while now...it's been bound to happen, anyway. after waiting for so long, it's just one of those things that you want to happen, so that you can spare yourself the agony of waiting any longer.

this is just a note to myself and everyone else: life is not a bed of roses. you don't go in smelling like shit and expecting to come out of it smelling like a rose. it doesn't always work that way. if the world turned out to be perfect, and if it turned out to be what we wanted it to be, i wouldn't be here typing all this and you wouldn't be here reading this. if you're wondering how this all came to be, well...like i said, it's been a long time coming, and if you know what my dad does for a living, i pretty much guess that you can take a few swipes and one of your assumptions would probably hit pay dirt.

i don't really know what to do. being alone these last few months has been a blast. and i think i've done pretty well for myself so far. i haven't dried up the cash, i haven't caused a death, and no one has a problem with me [or they haven't said it to my face]. i don't know if this is really my problem or not. it doesn't really even hurt me all that much now. but i guess you can see why some people stay together for the better part of their kids' lives. at least i can just tell myself that i tried making things better. some things are just not meant to be.

my mother won't be staying with me anymore, i suppose. it'd just be strange. if she was overseas, at least that could explain her not being here. but having her in the same city but under the same roof; i don't know. i could just be jumping to conclusions. and if i am, i could say that this is probably the most embarassing and the dumbest thing that i've ever done. whatever. i guess you know where i'm coming from. sorta.

i guess that's it. summed up. ranting away about how strange life is and how crappy it all seems. i doubt that i'd get any phone calls from the floor about how sorry they are for me and asking me questions about how i am...i'm not going to field them. there's nothing wrong with me; no nervous breakdowns. i'm not going to be a perpetual arse when i see you. i probably won't even mention this to you unless you bring it up. i won't be scarred for life. right now, i'm just hungry and i want to get back to life. i'd advise you to do the same as well.
a car with air conditioning that doesn't work, that causes the windshield to fog up and, as a result, causes the visibility outside to be at probably 15%. bad for driving? you bet. good for me? possibly. under these conditions, a road trip made up of a simple plan to go somewhere was formed. easy, yes? from what started off as getting out of a rut turned into a 5 hour, RM 20, town hopping ride. we basically went through kajang, semenyih, and a variety of other places to [accidentally] see what it was like travelling by trunk roads, without the highway. we ended up in seremban where i had the best nasi lemak ayam so far [the chicken is doused in satay sauce...mmmmmmmm], and we came back by the highway, which was a fun experience in itself.

basically, wiping the windshield clear of mist was a challenge, but thanks to newspapers and tissue, we managed just fine.

oh, well. next week [hopefully]: penang.

ulp.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

three days coming home at about 5 and having almost close to no sleep. it's a challenge, and i think that i don't really want to know how long i can keep it up for. i've probably already dazzled everyone at home into thinking that i'm a demi-god, looking at how i come home at the crack of dawn, then manage to get the clothes out as well as going to classes and then disappearing again til 5. i wonder how long i can pull this off for; it'd make one hell of an amazing record but a guy can only do as well as the company he keeps, i suppose. dangerous, i tell you...this is dangerous. so as i type this right now, my eyes probably containing eye bags under them, slightly bloodshot, my hair itchy even though i took a shower when i came home, i can only say that living the life of a troubadour drifter would be a lot more rewarding than having your normal 9 to 5 job. then again, any other exciting life would be better than having a 9 to 5 job. is it even 9 to 5 anymore? overtime, deadlines...it's your life based on the hands of the clock. then again, times seems to fly if you think that it will. to me, in three hours, that'll probably pass me by, i'd be in class, and in 8 hours, i'd be out of class, and in 10 hours i'd be eating and in 15 hours i think i'd be where i was tonight, as well as last night: sitting outside the bangsar sports complex with nothing to talk about and a lot to do.

ooo. stomach upset. oh, wait. just a snitch.

i mean, in the typically mundane day and lifestyle of the typical chinese student, you wouldn't find what i'd be doing as productive. i think otherwise; i look at studying as a job. it's like work...you go in, sit down, do assignments, get them done, and what i do...it's probably the equivalent of a yuppie going to a pub...only it's a helluva lot cheaper. and, gasp if you will, i've been studying. well, not exactly, but i've been doing my work and i've been keeping myself happy. most people keep themselves happy by buying themselves the best gift that they could think of. i just decide not to sleep and to see how long i could hold it for.

ugh. stomach pang. um.

the bare necessities of my life are probably the same as any other guy's: money, more money, a girlfriend, a car, a decent gaming system, and much more money. is it too much to ask for? i've got 3 of those 6 taken care of. it's just the $$ that drives me wild. being financially independent is probably the first real step into adulthood. when you get that first paycheque, it'd be a whole new world. some people think that losing your virginity, your first cigarette, your first license/car or your first real hard drink initiates you into the world of the higher tier...i disagree. work your ass off, make the cash for yourself, and feel satisfied.

with too little money for your poor, poor overworked soul.

great. the hair's still itchy. and i shampooed yesterday. and the stomach. this is it, folks...the big one.

so, i guess i'll be at it again tonight. living la vida [un]loca. sitting down and just watching the sky around me shine with the glow of the stars, as me and my me and my me and my me and my friends [thank you, rhcp] just sit and talk about...nothing.

cheers. it's going to be a good one.

Saturday, March 22, 2003

war is dehumanising. watching war on tv drives the message all the way back home. i was at justin's, basically laying on his couch between consciousness and unconsciousness, just watching the bombs go over baghdad. it's an amazing sight, to say the least. nothing in hollywood can ever compare to the real thing; if anything, this has probably enlightened everyone all over the world. even paolo's interested. a planned 1, 500 bombs over a 24 hour period. the ultimate pyrotechnics effect showcase. it's like a rock concert on acid. for 12 times the length of time.

it's just that i think that the media isn't sensitive enough. i don't know...it just gave me this lurch in my head while i was watching it all that this was one big, big joke to most people. everyone's watching the americans flex their muscles and now we have the problem. for everyone who doesn't like war, last night could either have been an reaffirmation or just a revelation to them. it just hurts. and god, i hope it doesn't happen here.

as long as there isn't a running commentary by joan rivers, i guess that it's still alright. lord knows that the americans would love to make a big show out of this.

god help us. here we go again.

Friday, March 21, 2003

day 2?

they're getting closer.

no matter.

i'm only sleeping.
it's started.

oh, well.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

i've become one of those water bottle carriers that i see all the time. i don't know...the bug's just struck me. it's probably due to the convenience and all, but a full water bottle does serious damage to my bad. still, i should be thankful...i will never again question why people bring water bottles and constantly refill them. though i think i might be following a trend that actually finding some function with it...i don't really drink the water from the bottle. oh, well. better safe than sorry, i suppose. for now, i guess the water bottle stays, until i find it passe or someone mocks me constantly about bringing it around. my loss.

safety. mmm. the older you get, the less likelier you are to take risks, be it emotional or physical. i call it condom theory. the best way to look at it would probably be from the perspective of a pubescent boy. when he's younger, he'd probably not bother about condoms and protection while performing the ol' in-out...but as he becomes an older [and hopefully wiser] droog, he'd be more bothered about protection. on the basis that the girl doesn't get pregnant, of course. however, condoms haven't really been proven to keep any STDs at bay...their primary function is to keep the unfortunate woman at the other end from becoming pregnant. the figures are quite weird...90% effective for reducing the risk of pregnancy, but 5% effective for protecting the parties involved in the spread of diseases. it's all been done, but us asian folk, we usually stay with one partner all our lives, yea? yea. sure.

but honestly, condom theory can be applied anywhere. remember damon hill? when he was driving for williams, he went around a track like mad. but as he got older and was driving for arrows [ugh], he was more cautious around the track. the best example of this would be mika hakkinen. but then again, this can only be applied if you're older and you have things to live for...which we usually do most of the time.

kinda makes you wonder if those psychos on the highway think that they can live forever. everybody grows up, i suppose.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

i had a dream that i was in a relationship with avril lavigne last night. we had the whole lovey-dovey thing going on.

needless to say, it was weird. she kept on sniffing her armpits.

Monday, March 17, 2003

i don't mean to be an ass...wait, i do...but...

MY DADDY WAS ON TV AND YOURS WASN'T.

as you can see, i'm overjoyed. and they mentioned him. by name. once.
HELP is a great place to study. not only do they move you into a new campus unexpectantly, the new campus also doesn't have running water and air conditioning. and shuttle buses that ferry students around don't shuttle them around for the whole day...students who finish at 6:30 have the option of walking back to the car back a kilometre away, or they could just wait for public transport to come. but who am i kidding, yea? it's a great place. really.

i lost my student card. my card holder sachet in my wallet probably dropped the card out. i have to make a new one tomorrow. i hope they actually bother to do something. a laggy administration isn't what we need.

just ask george bush.
there's nothing like a sunday drive. i know, i know...sunday drivers are pests on the roads...except for on sundays. i think that's understood, really.

so ease off your horns on sunday, yea? you'd probably encounter me. slow as i am.
mmm. is all mamak food generic or does it all taste that way?

Saturday, March 15, 2003

do you take movies that carry important messages seriously? i watched american history x last night. it was rather brutal. it was hard viewing, definitely. hard to take, hard to handle, but i couldn't keep my eyes of it. first, let's just stuff all the praise and the critical acclaim it got. let's just look at the message that it brings. from my perspective, it was showing that tolerance and understanding should be preached and practiced, but there'd be those who'd always be unwilling to open their minds. something along those lines. and it's true, isn't it? the movie is about a former skinhead who gets out of prison and who tries to reform his younger brother, who's going down his former path. the movie is violent, gritty, and no holds barred for sure. but it being a movie, should we take it seriously? is entertainment meant to make us think? in today's world, where aggression is probably a commodity on television, it's hard to say.

i really liked american history x. at the same time, i had trouble grasping the fact that we, as people, should have taken it seriously. i know some who haven't; they basically glorified the skinhead part of the show as opposed to the reformation of our protaganist. why? it's entertainment. there're no two ways about looking at it. it tried to offer us a perspective on real life, on how things really are, but in the end, it's all found on a roll of celluloid. most people who probably be distanced from what goes on. the media tends to glorify the negative and ignore the positive, and that leaves us with nothing but the picture of typical cliches, such as how white people who feel oppresed automatically turn to a life of delinquency and how most black people are "gangstas" by default. it's rather annoying. but there's really nothing that we can do about it.

so, are we meant to take it all seriously? i guess all we need is a pinch of salt.
amir yusoff is the face and the voice of the new maxis commercial. for the english and malay versions, at least. he cut his hair, so it took a while to recognize him without dreadlocks.

very cool.

Friday, March 14, 2003

i'm not a guitar player. to quote bono, i want to play the guitar badly and i do play the guitar badly. after almost probably 5 years, i still can't really call myself a virtuoso among the likes of satriani, sambora and even the edge, if i could. justin, if you're reading this, you'll probably end up being better than me. power chords do not a great guitarist make. i don't know. to me, a guitar was more than a toy...but as most things get older, they stay with you, and some times, you feel that you can't really have them anymore. well, sorta. that's why you give them away to friends and have them swap items of equal worth with you. anyway, i play the guitar badly. i'm good with the basic notes, and i can play the odd U2 solo, but besides that, i'm just hopeless. i'm still trying to figure my way from the flat notes up to the majors, and though i can probably find a power chord, i still have trouble with the whole theory behind the fretboard. having a girlfriend who plays better guitar than you says loads. well, maybe it does. it might also mean that i should give up all hope of having something worthwhile to do during guitar solos during [sic] live gigs. note to the reader: if you ever get to go to a [sic] gig, look out for me during paolo's solos...i'll be the waterboy for the band.

since we're on the topic of music, i just want to touch upon a subject that's pretty close to my heart. that's right...the second song. on every album, there's an opener, which suitably sets the mood for the whole album...or so you'd like to think. i mean, sure...the opening track is usually the first single from the album, and it does play an important role, but have you ever considered what it is that the second song does? it carries on the rest of the album...and usually, second songs may be less hook-filled, but their a lot more punchier. for example, after oasis' seven minute opus which is "d'you know what i mean?" on be here now, "my big mouth" gives us a good kick in the shins...the same goes for "shiver" being a blast in the face after "don't panic" in parachutes. the second song makes a difference. why not the third song or any songs after? well, you can say that they smoothen the mix, but at the same time, they don't have the chance to do what the second song does for the album. oh, well.

ever wondered how bands can sound fresh and not repetitious? ever heard everclear? they're great, i love them, but they just sound the same. it gets heady after a bit. i know that each song is different, but...maybe it's just his voice. like someone told me, it's probably the definitive everclear sound. just like the almost-patented aerosmith sound, and let's not forget bon jovi finding their big hair again. instead of looking to the music of the future, we should be uncovering the gems of the past. it'd work so much better, and musicians would have to think less and innovate on what could have been innovated on before. we all get a crack at it, i suppose.

closing coda
-------------------
you don't have to be scared
just be scared of me
did you feed the pet, darling?

no?

do it.

now.

the hell with whales.

at least you can do something about the ones at home.
did great chinese kung fu heroes of yore really have those great abilities? could two masters take on an army of hundreds at a time? and what's with all the flying...did they really fly like the way they do, or is it really all just wire-work? mmm. my uncle's bought almost the entire collection of shaw brothers' old chinese kung fu movies...the ones with that reek almost like indian action movies, but are slightly classier...they're guilty pleasures, i'll give them that. compared to today's movies, they're a lot slower, but more realistic...oh, well, you can't get it both ways, i guess.

my aunt's gone off for a holiday to thailand under the auspices of malaysia's rotary cell. she's left her car behind, with the keys. it's tempting, but my uncle won't touch it, and i think she'd run over me if i even tried. which is frustrating, seeing how much more fun it'd be to drive her wira than my own humble iswara [it's not even really mine to start off with]. it's a moral dilemma...no one [except my uncle, who wouldn't really be bothered] would know, and it'd be a helluva lot more conveniet for me to go to classes [such as today, which had a bitching business stats replacement class that i conveniently missed due to oversleeping]. missing the stats class was a dilemma as well. if i didn't go, i'd get some sleep, but obviously lose out on the lecture, as well as the tutorial questions, plus i'd probably have to ask someone for the questions, who'd probably feel bad coz they'd be providing me with junk that i could've gotten myself.

i couldn't care less. i asked someone for the questions and i got a copy. i guess sloth does pay off once in a while.

speaking of sloth, why are generally fat people hailed as ugly? the girl at the photocopying place today had arms as thin as sticks...i'd never really seen smaller arms before hers. most people want to go for the balance between kate moss-waif sized and roseanne's old hump before she made the stomach smaller. why is fat ugly? hell, what is ugly? why do we consider bulging hips [unless you're qualified in the upstairs and the legs departments] to be liabilities as compared to having no hips at all? cleopatra could've been fat, seeing how back then in egypt, fat was considered beautiful. what about today? what about the men? does that mean that fat people automatically go for relationships with other fat people because they believe that they can't find any other flounders in the sea? and when i say "fat", i mean fat...not just fat.

in the end, i guess it just goes down to what you think is the apple of your eye. i've met guys before who've thought that a bit of flesh was already a sin. i'd hate to know what women think, really. it'd probably scare the living bejeezus out of me. i'm already weighing in at a terribly unhealthy 80 kg++ [that should give you a rough estimate about my size]...and i'm not really slowing down, looking at the amount of coke i drink a day.

ignorance is bliss.

cheers.

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

i kind of like where i am in life. despite being the lovable loser/slacker that i am, it's safe to say that i'm hard working, honest [as you'll see later] and a hell of a lot of fun. but whenever i think about the future, i get stomach pangs [like i'm getting right now which are sorta making me reconsider going to a replacement class...*ahem*] and i start feeling sorry for myself. anyway, in a way to counter the negative effects of any pangs that i'm getting right now [i'd probably go for class, anyway, knowing myself], i'm going to take a look at some of the best jobs that'd be just right for me now. as in right now.

first up, i'd make a great video game tester. i have the experience...i've owned a nintendo, super nintendo, dreamcast and a ps2 [more on that much, much later]. that might not be a big deal, but i can provide suggestions and submit well-balaced arguments about the pros and cons of a game and i could probably give out the final verdict. i think quality assurance is in my blood...it comes from being a guy. we're meant to check girls out, and although our tastes usually vary, we usually can back up our decisions with outlandish [but not over-the-top] claims.

secondly, i'd make a great album reviewer. not a rock reporter or an interviewer, just an album reviewer. i'd be fair in my assessment of anything that goes my way...even pre-manufactured cotton candy. i have the voice of an angel [or angels, even], and i have very, very good judgement. it'd help if i was reviewing rock bands only...since i have an affinity for approving anything that's old-school r&b on cue. i might be biased towards u2 and bon jovi albums, though.

i could be a guinea pig. a test subject. for anything. drugs, food, a crash test dummy, you name it. i'd take the abuse and ask for more, yes i would. there's nothing better than knowing that you're pushing your body to the limit, just to ask for more. it's like playing tony hawk 4 and realizing that it's 3 in the morning and knowing that you still can sleep for 8 hours but in the end, you wake up at 8 o'clock anyway. i could be a food tester...that'd be great! um. or even a model. for horizontally challenged clothes. ian tai wearing bulk...bringing out the best in big men. ooooerrr.

i want to be a professional shopper. it looks like fun, but it's not all that it's cracked up to be...it requires analytical skills [that i have] and it involves a bit of research through consumer habits [which we all can pick up]. what the use of being a professional shopper is, i don't know...i think retail chains employ some to see what they'd purchase and then they'd start promoting those particular goods more and more. it sounds like fun, and you get to blow money on things that you might even possibly keep in the end. it'd work out, really, it would!

and lastly, i'd like to be a bum. live off my parents' money, stay at home and sleep a lot, remembering that the toilet and food are needed once in a while. i'd like to go out to mamaks at night and not feel commited to sleeping early because of classes...i'd like to blow cash off on a RM 300 pair of shoes, only to know that there'd be more money coming in. i can't do that though, since i never get any money coming in, and i really don't know any RM 300 shoes to buy. but you get the essence of the idea...enhance the slacker image, and just go for it.

my stomach is still...panging. i can't make up my mind. it's all fine and dandy now, but it'd probably act up on my way to college.

typical.

Monday, March 10, 2003

mmm. it's back to college time. and what a better way to mark the return of the underachiever than by missing out a replacement class that was held on saturday? not bad...i've missed the lectures. what a way to start a week, you'd say. i'd think that you were right.

i went to this concert yesterday...well, i caught the last half hour of it...it was basically an anti-war tribute.

it made me wonder how many more anti-war sentiments we can openly express before we get choked up and saturated by them.

don't get me wrong, i hate war, definitely...but there might be some people who'd think that it's all getting tired now.

Friday, March 07, 2003

are people owned by the things we own? how much do we need the stuff we have? i've got a dreamcast which i initally was estatic about, but now, after almost 5 months, i'm not going at it on the daily basis that i used to. i've got a handphone that i used to treasure and i swore that i'd keep it new and fresh and clean but now it's at its most banged up [but it's a survivor]. i've got a discman that i bought for RM 500 that i swore i'd use everyday, but i'm honestly trying to find the days that i can use it for. in all honesty, we probably all have things like these. after a while, they're probably left lying in a corner somewhere, gathering dust and forgotten. [don't let me get started about my panasonic shockwave walkman...it was durable and handy, but i don't know where it is now]. in a world of today's mass consumerism and expanded awareness, we're seeing more and learning more than we possibly could without the advent of technology.

well, i guess that if we've got the money to blow, we blow the money. though sometimes our choices might be a bit erratic. i don't see how anyone would need a handphone with a built-in digital camera at this time yet, though i'm betting that there're a definite number of people that're going to get it, anyway. a palm pilot looks good, feels good, and it's probably useful, but whatever happened to a pen and the little black book that people used to carry around? if the stuff's arguable useful, like a ps2 [alright, well...maybe not] or a handphone [plain], then maybe we'd be excused. part of the problem is the fact that we view these items as status symbols [which they are, of course]. looking at it now, a student who has a dad who owns a bmw would probably underscore the fact more than a girl whose dad just bought a new wira. or maybe not, knowing the irrationality of the female species [i see bricks coming my way].

does the whole idea of losing face play that large a role? form over function? probably. that's probably why you check into the star metro section on the latest handphone, and go "oooerrrr" or focus on your friend's fendi tights or gucci glasses that resonate that style and class that you severely lack. that's probably why you'll never fit in since the power shoes you were pale in comparison to their nike air maxes. that's probably why you can never boast about racking up RM 1, 000 in a single phone bill and paying it off. that's probably why you'll never feel like you belong to anyone without the common denominator that binds you all together: stuff.

i'm not saying that we should lead a spartan lifestyle. i'm not saying that we shouldn't enjoy ourselves when we think we deserve it. i'm just saying that we should at least try to think for ourselves and consider what it is we really want before we make the impulsive move to make a difference in our lives. there's nothing wrong with being plain. being special's a drag. expectations of you are heightened, and sometimes, just sometimes, you fail to live up to them.

there's nothing wrong with following the trends, i gather. but being practical would be helpful.


this is not the blog i intended it to be.

Thursday, March 06, 2003

the world's a funny place. i know it's not my place to say it, and that any impending war would probably get things over and done with, but if certain governments were more concerned about the welfare of the world in terms of people than the welfare of the world in terms of the overthrowing of a dictatorship, i guess that we'd all be pleased with ourselves and that we'd all be peace loving, law abiding people. or not.

but just click on this, and look at the logic behind what it is we do and how much we actually could do if we spent our money wisely. or to be precise, what we could do if we divulged a majority of our defense budgets into certain areas of interest that could lead to a mutual interest for everybody.

the world's a funny place.

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

i think the house is getting surprised with me. comes home at 3 a.m., wide awake by 8 a.m.

i am the highway.

anyway, i was over at justin's yesterday...to keep it short, we went to sungai wang, where i got hold of tony hawk 4, and seeing how i'm ps2-less, justin was the guinea pig. i also went to petaling street [how i've missed you so!] and bought audioslave, nirvana, and these two ali g videos. nice.

tony hawk 4 is the bomb. it's faster, bigger, faster, faster, and too fun. oodles of it. makes me wish for a ps2...erm...almost. if anyone's interested in purchasing a totally functional dreamcast or a totally functional super nintendo with twenty over original games, give me a buzz. somehow.

yes, well...makes me regret the things i've done.

better than what never was, i imagine.

Monday, March 03, 2003

i think my body has been pushed a bit too far. my right ankle is painfully sore, my left arm is giving me a hard time, and both my feet don't want to be lifted up. it doesn't feel that bad, because in a way, it reminds me that i'm still alive...and that professional footballers really, really tolerate pain. not to say that these are overaching sensations...it's just that i haven't felt this way in a long, long time. it's something akin to running a full 1500 metres without having done it before. twice. it also tells me that i shouldn't really join energetic kids [among them, real football players]...but the best way to grab at a lost youth is to join the lost youth.

due to scheduling conflicts, i have absolutely no classes this week. it's amazing, i know. the HELP administration is the best. anyway, due to there being no classes, i refuse to do any work, including my promotions management assignment, which is due in two weeks. fun, fun, fun. my aching head. oh, yea, my head aches too. sore neck. maybe i should start sleeping on a bed again.

Saturday, March 01, 2003

there's this case that was brought up in the papers today. it involved these two policemen who allegedly raped this 13 year old girl. i hope that it isn't true...otherwise, it'd just prove that you really can't trust the police anymore. when they're good, they're really good...but when they're bad, my god...anything's possible. i was raised and brought up to believe that the police were good...that they had the guns and used them because they did it to serve and to protect, to save me from robbers and hoodlums and the general scum of the city. now, things're probably different. despite having what scotland yard calls some of the best CIDs on the planet, we've still got incompetent officers, the ever-present traffic cop with the licky lips, and now, the rapists. it's not a new category, it's just probably been brought into more prominence. what's going on? it's just strange, isn't it? i just hope that it's not true. the lines being more blurred and blurred between the good guys and the bad guys, and i don't mean that in a training day sense. the people shouldn't doubt those that they're meant to trust.

let's not even talk about the american police force. they've got an agenda of their own.

you'd probably hail that justice has been served if they're found guilty, seeing who they are. but how many out there are just like them, serving in the "public" interest? jesus. hope that the line isn't that blurred. pray for it. it's just sick, now.
when we're exposed to american sitcoms, are we to generally believe that americans act that way? the same goes for television shows...are all americans as nice as they seem in 7th heaven [farewell, jessica biel, you were the ideal preacher's daughter], as lost as they are in touched by an angel, as well-endowed as they are in baywatch...you get the idea. is everything as pastel-coloured as it is in friends? mmm. smiling faces, talking heads, but we don't get the point. if everything was so brown nosed in the states, i guess that we wouldn't be having wars, that they'd be fighting world debt alongside the countries that need it, and that they'd be having a government deficit in the budget from being overcharitable. charity starts at home...wait, don't let me get started on unemployment and the economy...and the global temperament. this is about television.

i remember, back when saved by the bell was showing on sunday mornings on tv2, we'd spend the next day at school, talking about zach and screech and cohorts...and being prepubescent teens [is there such a thing?], we'd focus on the snuggling and the kissing...the whole physical thing. that paved the way for the whole "i want a girl/boy/girl-boy" thing, and we started it...asking girls out, the whole giggly phase...because they did that stuff on tv. friends was all about yuppie relationships and possibly even sex...i'm not a big fan but it's possibly the best show on tv right now...more on that later. the few shows that i've embraced in the past were probably...well, ally mcbeal, because she was so neurotic, and the x-files, because i just didn't get it. and now, it's probably csi, because i od'd on it in brazil, and because nothing like it has come before...to my knowledge. makes you want to become a forensic scientist...for a day.

but do americans really talk that way? it's the same when you see a gritty movie like narc [jason patric, ray liotta]...are all blacks really the stereotypical nigga dealer? does everyone swear on cue? pop and bustem' caps? no? yes? i know that we should distance ourselves from television, that it blurs the line between reality and fiction, but...there's a little bit of us in that show that the idiot box is showing. just how much, we'll never know. all i know is, we take from it...which is probably dangerous, i guess. then again, in a world like today's, brown-nosed is good.

throw away your television? i think not.