Tuesday, November 29, 2005

escape into the blue (edit).

the biz council presents escape into the blue, 2 days and 3 nights in langkawi and pulau payar, from the 13th to 15th of janaury, 2006.. for RM 388 (RM 399 for non-HELP students), you get to visit two island getaways. you'll alos be staying at a beachside chalet at langkawi, which isn't too far from the city centre, either. inclusive of a barbecue dinner and seafood dinner on the first and second nights repectively and lunch @ pulau payar on the second day. sun, surf, sea and sin (in the way that only a duty-free haven can give you). for more details, call khai lun at 012-2662527.

*note: if 5 people book together HELP students only have to pay RM 380 each (it's still RM 399 for non-HELPies)

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

monkey insult sword fighting.

just another conversation with the mad doctor.
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the mad doctor says:
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

intransigence says:
fabulous.
i'm imagining you blowing your brains out with a banana.
the mad doctor says:
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

intransigence says:
that's good.
i'll send a good word in to your parole officer.
the mad doctor says:
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

intransigence says:
reassuringly so.
feces was always a strong point of mine; especially when it was being ejected out.
the mad doctor says:
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

intransigence says:
no. but no one understands me, anyway.
the mad doctor says:
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

intransigence says:
mmm. let's compare penis sizes.
the mad doctor says:
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

intransigence says:
supposed former infatuation junkie. with the self.
the mad doctor says:
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

intransigence says:
it's probably harder to spell. which i can do better than you.
the mad doctor says:
Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

intransigence says:
you should be. i'm entitled to my opinion and you're entitled to my opinion.
the mad doctor says:
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.
intransigence says:
that's true. but your mom still dresses you all the same.
the mad doctor says:
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
intransigence says:
now's not a good time to talk about your split personalities.
the mad doctor says:
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

intransigence says:
it's good to know that you can be wrong sometimes.
the mad doctor says:
I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

intransigence says:
is that why you're still living in a cardboard box? the truth revealed.
the mad doctor says:
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

intransigence says:
that's why you're so detached from the real world

Sunday, November 20, 2005

You Can Have Your Picket Fences.

I want a life that defies convention; I live a life that doesn’t. There’re fewer opportunities to lead such a life as I get older. These past few months have been horrible. I’ve woken up with the realization that I’m not enjoying what I’m doing now, and that I don’t really want to know how things will progress if I continue to tread down this path. Granted, it’s really my doing. I’ve had more than enough time to change my mind (at least in the beginning), and I should just finish things off and then move on to things that would inspire, or at least, interest me. But the thing is, the more I realize that I don’t want to continue, the more I deflate my own efforts into doing what I’m being forced into doing.

It’s not as if this is an epiphany of any sorts – things have been brewing for quite a while – it’s just that the further I do, the worst I feel. And I’m worried that my insane, adamant belief that I’m meant for greater things is starting to pull me down. Because I should be working towards achieving that goal as opposed to living in a grotto. I’m just drifting. I’m supposed to grab life by the balls and squeeze it dry (for the lack of any better metaphors to use) but I’m not. Golden opportunities have probably slipped me by because of my ignorance, or my burgeoning lack of initiative. It was different in the beginning.

There’s this quote from Bono that goes along the line of “when you’re 16, you feel that you can take on the world; and sometimes, you do”. As you age, you feel more feeble. You lose your drive. Your vision. Your purpose. I’m quite happy because I had no such drive or vision or purpose in the first place. I’m not celebrating my mediocrity…no should ever do such a thing…but I felt privileged not to have to pigeonhole myself or to force undue pressure upon myself to perform because I had no ambitions. (There were a few, but those were, and still are, rather impractical).

However, back then, despite my shortcomings, I was willing to make a difference in my life. I wanted to start fresh, start anew and whiteout my way to a new slate. And I did. And it was good. For a while. I was content with life. I was happy. I can say that my life has been more than blessed. I live in relative comfort (despite being broke 80% of the time). I have broadband connectivity. I sleep with a roof over my head and a fresh pillowcase every 4 days. I am fine.

My attitude towards life, however…some people would say that it isn’t. Maybe my spirit’s too free? Maybe I’ve been saturated with as much idealism that anyone could possibly take that I truly do believe I’m special (and I don’t mean that in a Scientologist way)? My own shifts towards gloom and boom are a testament to how uncomfortable I am with myself. I mean, it’s good being me. I don’t mind. At the same time, I willingly drag myself and the people around me into this scape I’ve created in my mind where everybody owes me. Where I’ve been done wrong by everyone and where I should be the sole beneficiary of all your love and affection.

The confessions of someone who suffers from an attention deprivation complex? Yeah, maybe.

The bottom line? At this precise moment, I’m not feeling happy. It’s bound to change within the next four hours when episode 6 of Season 2 of the O.C. is downloaded and ready for viewing. But that’s going to be a while from now. And even after that, I might not feel happy. Call this a pre-quarter life crisis.

The truth? I want a life that’s bigger than the life I have. I’m too scared of living a life where I’m bound to the doctrines of daily rituals and routines. I want a life that has meaning. I believe that I want it more than anyone else I know because I believe that I can handle it. Not because everyone else is less deserving of it than I am – that’s a fact – but because it’s what I want. I don’t know what or where it is. My life shouldn’t be grey. I deserve better than that. I know that everyone does. Everyone deserves better.

Why shouldn’t I?

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Romans 7:15-24

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

hey.

the best memories i had of you were the ones where you weren't there.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

o, rohanida.

i don't know what's more embarrassing: staying awake on the morning of an exam, admitting to the world that i watch a female-centric television program or announcing that i have a crush on one of the three female leads.

i've been sort of popping by the tv to watch Trio. it's a malay program that centres around three teens and their pursuit of happiness. it's very chick-based. it appears on the idiot box whenever i sit down. and it has the most delicious sun-kissed malay girl i've ever seen onscreen. most of my friends would probably disagree, but this is, bar none, the most attractive malay girl i've seen on television. aside from rina omar. who i wouldn't exactly die for, but...intoxicated was hot, yes.

anyway, this is Rohanida Khaursar, who plays Kat on Trio. the pictures don't do her justice. she's hotter than the other two, who just don't...well...do it for me. it might be the sunset rust hair mixed with the perfectly smooth tanned skin that pulls me in, but she's got an incredible level of diction when she speaks english and it's just terrifying because she'd be one prime example of what my idea girl would be. though in reality, she's 25 and probably really attached.


she really is the augmented product. um. aside from rina, of course.

(you can catch trio from monday to friday at 5:30 p.m. with repeats at 7:30 p.m. and 10:10 p.m on ntv7).

Monday, November 14, 2005

I Don't Like What You've Got Me Hanging From.

The last few days have been spent fussing and worrying over the imminent arrival of my father. His tenure in Brazil has come to an end, and I’ve seen photos of a farewell that was recently thrown for him during the week of his 58th birthday. The nail was hit into the head when my uncle was cleaning the house fervently on Friday, in anticipation of my father’s return to Kuala Lumpur on Saturday morning. It was inevitable: the career diplomat coming home after over 20 years in service. He’d already told me about how much time he had sacrificed for his country; he didn’t want to waste any more of his years working. Which is all fine and good, but I’ve been wondering exactly where my father is at this moment.

He hasn’t returned from Brazil, and I don’t think that he can overstay his welcome there. A simple phone call might do the trick, but I don’t really want to call the Embassy and ask for him. He might’ve already packed up and left for parts unknown. If my dad was being mysterious the first time around, now he’s just downright AWOL. My uncle said that the hearing between my parents had been postponed yet again to mid-January, meaning that daddy dearest would probably return in December or January itself.

I shall wait for His Bluntless to return and disown me. Here’s a picture of my dad during his farewell. He looks short. And Japanese. The gentleman on the right is...Ambassador Pedro Motta Pinto Coelho (Google has his name translated to “Peter Motta Young Chicken rabbit”), the Director of the Department of Africa. And the lady on the left is my stepmother apparent (if things work out that way). I love my father, but that doesn’t mean that I have to like the choices that he makes. Especially when they’re wrong ones.



And here’s another picture of the three:



My father has his work cut out for him now. Even though he’s retired and missing.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

little list of names.

Current lists of names for my kids.

Daughters
-------------
Skye
Jean
Tasha
Rebecca
Zoe
Melissa
Shannon

Sons
-------
Sky
Joshua
James
Michael
Keith
Kevin
Kieran

Theo came up with a name which I think would be the ultimate Chinese comedy value moniker:

Chrysanthemum Tan Kok Fah. Which is a lot funnier if you’re Cantonese.

Suggestions are welcome.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

more online surveys.

Artisans are the temperament with a natural ability to excel in any of the arts, not only the fine arts such as painting and sculpting, or the performing arts such as music, theater, and dance, but also the athletic, military, political, mechanical, and industrial arts, as well as the "art of the deal" in business.

Artisans are most at home in the real world of solid objects that can be made and manipulated, and of real-life events that can be experienced in the here and now. Artisans have exceptionally keen senses, and love working with their hands. They seem right at home with tools, instruments, and vehicles of all kinds, and their actions are usually aimed at getting them where they want to go, and as quickly as possible. Thus Artisans will strike off boldly down roads that others might consider risky or impossible, doing whatever it takes, rules or no rules, to accomplish their goals. This devil-may-care attitude also gives the Artisans a winning way with people, and they are often irresistibly charming with family, friends, and co-workers.

Artisans want to be where the action is; they seek out adventure and show a constant hunger for pleasure and stimulation. They believe that variety is the spice of life, and that doing things that aren't fun or exciting is a waste of time. Artisans are impulsive, adaptable, competitive, and believe the next throw of the dice will be the lucky one. They can also be generous to a fault, always ready to share with their friends from the bounty of life. Above all, Artisans need to be free to do what they wish, when they wish. They resist being tied or bound or confined or obligated; they would rather not wait, or save, or store, or live for tomorrow. In the Artisan view, today must be enjoyed, for tomorrow never comes.

Artisans make up between 15 to 20 percent of the population, which is good, because they create much of the beauty, grace, fun, and excitement the rest of us enjoy in life.
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bah. such nice things said about me. how fun. check it out at http://www.advisorteam.com.

Monday, November 07, 2005

4 idiots at a mcdonald's.

the power of three will set you free.
-----------------
i met up with keong, who was in kelantan with his dad for...uh...i'm not really sure. jun and matt were there as well. the routine transport trip to seremban was made (with matt in tow), and...yes. i have a future in radio advertising voiceovers. please do try out the new mcdonald's potato wedges. it's all in the name of good organic fun.
-------------------------

uplift mofo wha---?!

this was taken at seremban, very close to keong's uncle's house, which in turn is opposite the wet market or something. it's a bit weird, but everyone needs a moral uplifting society in the 'hood.

unfinished monkey business.

i don't like studying.

i believe in instant gratification.

i don't believe that working hard all my life is going to get me a ferrari. i believe that involves some scheming and a lot of luck.

but i'll work it off a bit. finals in about a week. i'm less than overjoyed. pray for me.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

look kids! it's O-Zone!

my lord. that romanian hit, dragostea din tei has a story of its own to tell. for the full scoop of the song, click here...
Wikipedia - Dragostea Din Tei

these are the lyrics in romanian (painstakingly typed by me, btw)...

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei

Nu ma, nu ma lei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau sai dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.


Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum,
Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

and the english translation...

Miyaa-hee
Miya-hoo
Miya-ho
Miya-haha
(These are just sounds)

Hello (on a cellphone), greetings, it's me, an outlaw,I ask you, my love, to accept happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso,I sent you a beep (cellphone signal), and I'm brave (or strong),
But you should know that I'm not asking for anything from you.

You want me to leave but you don't want, don't want to take me, don't want, don't want to take me (phew)
Your face and the love from the linden trees,
And I remember your eyes.

I call you (over the phone), to tell you what I feel right now,
Hello, my love, it's me, your happiness,
Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,I sent you a beep (cellphone signal) and I'm brave (or strong),
But you should know that I'm not asking anything from you.

it's a 2 year old song, but my, it's lovely.

it was fun.

putting the wrigley's regalia into the closet.

Friday, November 04, 2005

liberdace!

it'd feel nice if i could stand on a cliff right now and feel the wind in my face.

i wouldn't jump or anything, but i just crave the sensation of liberation of sorts. most of my friends would say that i have it better than them...i digress. i think everyone wants to unplug once in a while, no matter what their standing in life is.

which is why i'm going to the mall. to unwind. it's a pathetic excuse for a cliff, but since i don't particularly go to malls a lot (at least not anymore), i can treat it as a retreat of sorts.

a retreat for idiots, but a retreat nonetheless.

i think staying at home this past week has done a number on me. i've overslept and underslept and overslept again. but at the same time, i feel recharged and totally unmotivated to face the impending finals. et tu?

liberation.

i'd feel liberated if i could assault my boss for being the world's biggest dick.
i'd feel liberated if i could perform in front of 50,000 people without screwing up.
i'd feel liberated if i could view the world from outer space.
i'd feel liberated if i could feel reciprocation.
i'd feel liberated if i could watch a sunrise on the beach.
i'd feel liberated if i could wake up at 11 and go back to sleep.
i'd feel liberated if i could live a day without worries.

if not liberation...it'd still feel rather good.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

nowhere.

they're playing with fire in the sky
and i wish i was a part of it
so i could look down
to you

everything that flies comes down again
but in the end it's alright
's just another thing
gravity

i was sold
the first time i laid eyes on you
but that's the furthest that it'd get
because i'm nowhere

undoubtedly
i'm nowhere

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

festival of lights.

it's been a good deepavali. and it's really been a time of renewal for some people i know. it's good to know that things really do work out for those who work the hardest for them to do so.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

sleepless slumber.

thoughts!
--------------
deepavali is the only day of the year where indians smell nice and don't drink beer. or is it? (i'm not racist. please take it in good humour).

i got dumped by two girls who went to england and found newfound love.

i got dumped by a girl after a week because of my unorthodox way of communicating with her. which was by no communication whatsoever. (i need a date doctor).

7-11 outlets are open for 24 hours, yet they need locks.

where do the seeds in seedless grapes come from? (thank you for not answering that, brainiac).

i don't know if i'd rather have sex with a doll that's come to life or a dead chick.

i have a friend who doesn't know if he'd rather have sex with a claymation puppet that's come to life that represents a dead chick or a dead chick.

i haven't bought my own cigarettes in the last 3 days.

my parents may be getting divorced, but they're really taking a long time to get thru with it.

i got dumped for a girl for God. who subsequently became a lesbian for the better part of a year. (the girl, not God).

it's my granduncle's birthday today. he's turning 80.

happy deepavali. oil baths make you smell fragrant for a reason, you shits. (no, seriously, this is just tasteless fun).