Tuesday, May 27, 2003

"seize the day"
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oh, lord. piracy has been rampant throughout malaysia for the past decade or so...i started getting in on the craze when petaling street was selling all those pirated video cassettes...i still have a whole stock of them in the house, though they can't really be played anymore. then it was the vcd craze, which my family has oodles of. prices were lower than ever, from RM 15 for the videos, to about RM 10 and under for a set of vcds. and now, dvds...which i own as well. RM 15 for the fully menu'd, while RM 10 for the lower range. and i've just read in the news that they've seized about RM 22.5 million worth of pirated discs...i mean, geez, give us a break...i want pirated goods. it's an inevitable thing, and they're going to keep coming back...and have you ever wondered what happens to the stuff after they seize it? i'm sure that some of the "enforcement" officers pluck some off home. definitely. it's only human.

what irks me most is my current situation right now. i'm going to have to stock up on pirated goods and i have no idea how to, looking at how awkward my current financial situation is. anyone want to hire a young, aspiring slacker? i only slack in class, but i swear, i'm a hard worker. i've got great writing skills [i'm an "o"/"a" leveller, for pete's sake], and i'll work real hard. well, hard enough. no? well, just give me a buzz.

makes me think that i've never really put down my contact information here, have i?

so now what do i do? my favourite dvd place in atria has decided only to display and sell original vcds [they had a sopranos set that i so, so wanted], and i'm pretty sure that the authorities are going to come down hard on the guys who sell the games in the megamall. and ditto that for sungai wang. why couldn't they have cracked down on smuggled handphones first? the idiots. of all the stupid times when they had to make me spend a lot of money, it had to be now.

do they think that the people care about copyright infringement? do they think that we care if it funds triad activities? basically, the more we pay, the better they get. it sounds crude, but if people have free choice, then...what the hell is wrong with it? do they get anything from it? do the distributors of the original discs pay them truckloads to do what's right? do you think that the tourists who come here even mind?

"oh, honey, we shouldn't buy it because it's a form of copyright infringement...."

bullocks. they come, they buy, they conquer. piracy is itself a jack in the arm. in terms of economy, it's a multi-million business. the circulation of foods into this shadow economy, if you will, creates employment, jobs, and if you look at the frequency in which the money used to buy pirated goods is circulated, you'd wish that the rest of the country would be in on it.

want to know what to do? lower the retail prices on your original vcds and discs. lower the retail prices on your dvds and games. abolish audio cassettes. go all out for the promotion of cd-only material; no transitional storage mediums. as all this has shown, cds are utterly easy and cheap to produce. i don't see why original discs can't be as cheap. what, marketing and promotion? in malaysia? guffaw.

unless they want me to get an isdn/adsl connection and download ps2 games and albums and the like and then burn them onto disc.

what a bunch of idiots.

Monday, May 26, 2003

"stranded"
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fortunes can change so drastically, so unbelievingly that sometimes, it's a bit too much to handle. i've complained to myself about it, and now i'm going to whine on to you. bear with me...though it may sound like i'm massively spoilt, let me phrase it in two words: i'm broke. my aunt's all geared up to buy herself a new c-class [a kompressor, no less, though i still have to confirm that], but due to a fetish for very, very cool handphones, i've just basically spent my way to poverty [as my dad would say it]...well, not broke, but i've got a bit in my wallet, and a very, very little bit in the bank, and due to my own lack of foresight, i'm now between a rock and a hard place. basically, i've got a two thousand ringgit lifeline, but that's two thousand for six months, til my father comes back in november and demands to see my spending and sees the occurence of the number of withdrawls i make a week. scary. but that doesn't mean a thing, because basically, i've got a two thousand ringgit lifeline, right? well, i'd love to go and ask my mother for money, but she'd probably do the first thing my dad would do when he sees my bank passbook: slap me. hard. i deserve it, really, since i said i have eight hundred in the bank when my dad issued me the cheque. i was off by three hundred. and two days ago, i was off by it all.

bear with me here. there's a silver lining in all of this. really.

due to the fact that i'm sorta impoverished [you could survive six months on two thousand, but barely], this means that i'm going to have to change my lifestyle. i might have to sleep more to skip meals [so as not to spend money], i'll probably have to go out less [fuel prices and food], and i'd spend my time at home, on the phone and online [less time on both], working hard and playing around on the ps2 [i'd be able to finish games]. i guess i'd be a slacker of sorts, which i already am. i'm going to stop going for stats because i believe in home schooling, but i guess promotions management is still fun, which is why i'm still going for it.

i bought the mallrats dvd yesterday. watched it earnestly. i've learnt well. very well.

one thing about being a slacker is, you see life from a totally different perspective. you don't want to be in on the rat race...you want to be leading it, whilst sitting down. you want to kick back, relax, and earn. you have the girlfriend who loves you for what you are, you have the great gaming rig that you spend your nights on, you have a cd collection that has no comparison...being a slacker requires a lot of financial backing, if you think about it. which is quite shocking, really, seeing how you'd think that you'd be saving money by staying at home and not doing anything. weird.

and just to make it clear...the phone really is worth it.

i woke up early this morning...3 hours ago, in fact...to deposit the two thousand into my account. besides the phone bill, i've got nothing massive planned. i guess being frugal's easy, it's just that choosing to be frugal...that's the thing. am i betraying my slacking roots if i save and spend wisely? no. i'd only be enhancing it. i guess that i could become something of a hermit. seeing how i have no friends, it shouldn't be that hard.

justin thinks that a disappearing act should be labelled as a "houdini". baby, i'm an obi-wan.
"moonwalking"
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ah, michael jackson. i've downloaded some songs off his dangerous album [namely who is it and jam], and it just brought me back to the time when i was just another student in garden international school, trying to find his place in life [and still doing so today]; that's a story for another day. this is about...you've guessed it, michael jackson. i remember buying everything he released...whenever my dad would go to new york for the occasional diplomatic summit, i'd always ask him to get me some cds...there was always a particular list [and he'd seldom deliver...i should've lowered my expectations]. michael jackson used to be on all of them...i had it all, the excellent off the wall and thriller, bad and the underrated dangerous...these albums were brilliant, and despite being canned by critics [what do they know?], they were all good in their own right, they were tight, solid, and the best part is...as an 11 year old, i didn't see them as that. i mean, geez, c'mon, i gave off the wall and thriller AND bad in one shot [along with a now 2 cd i wanted to get rid off] for lydia's 13th birthday [or was that 12th?...i had such a schoolboy crush on her...and for those who're thinking about blackmailing me, she knows], and i lent that f*cker kevin sharma my dangerous album and after...what, 6?...years, i still don't have it. and this is a guy who's driving a 3 series now, the hump. geez.

well, this basically serves as a three punch lesson:-

1) mj really IS the king of pop

2) don't give away your old cds just because you thought the artist was passe at the time or else you'd live to regret it

3) you tend to take things for granted when you're a kid [and still do so to a smaller extent the older you get]

after everything that's happened to the guy, from the so-called sex crimes, to his face, nose, skin, to the latest debacle over the [mis]management of his children, to his rebuttal, to the whole deal of him being broke now [i swear, if he really is, he only has to give/charge people a for guided tour of his neverland or just sell the damn amusement park off], i really do feel bad for the man...because people still don't understand the genius in him [though i never thought about getting blood on the dance floor or invincible], but i guess that's all in the past now. i just wish that people would leave the man alone...he's been through a lot in his life, and i just wish they'd stop ragging him.

why can't they just bully george dubbya instead? where's all the criticism levelled against him?

now that we all can say that jackson's a dishevelled mess, and that there's a possibility that his children might turn out slightly weird, we're probably still going to look at him and wonder. despite not having a hit album in what's definitely years, the man is still the king of pop...i tend to still think so. honestly, think about all the fledging new artists now, and the only person i can think of whom we might be able to compare him to with jackson would be justin timberlake...and that's not even a bit of what jackson is.

tough call, no? i don't care about what he's done, but in terms of music, michael jackson really has done something. and really, who didn't want to be him [pre-white]? i can remember asking my dad for a studded glove once, as well as the damn hat. ah, the things kids do.

and then i discovered rock.

well, my next blog is going to be about my favourite rock and roll hero. well, one of them...i guess i have to call elvis the king. mmm...50 years from now, in Heaven...the presley family reunion...elvis with lisa marie, guest-starring mj...sold out, even to us humble folks down here on earth. i'll be waiting.

Saturday, May 24, 2003

an addiction to pocket rockets leads to a less than desired scorching of the lungs which in term, increases the presence of an almost incurable disease that slowly consumes, if not totally assimilating, your body. leading to this, you inevitably, but gradually, ebb away and die. sad, isn't it, how an addiction to nicotine can be so harmful in the long run? the long-term relationship that some people have with one of the most freely available drugs [the other being caffeine] is intriguing...knowing what's totally and irrevocably bad for you, but still going at it...it leaves no room for lament and regret if you keep going at it, right? for the person who says that a pack/stick will be his last, there's always going to be another side of him that tells him otherwise. you can't go cold turkey as experience with some people go, it doesn't quite work out the way you want it to. maybe the proper thing to do would be rehabilitory treatment...nicotine is a drug, and it should be treated like any other drug. long-term plans are good. the plot may yet thicken.

try beating an addiction to anything. i think people who don't understand might be hypocrites, in the sense that they think it's a matter of black and white without grey....but then, maybe it just is. how it holds up in the long run depends on the aforementioned addict...good luck to him, whomever he might be.
i've been hanging out with elaine a few times this week. elaine's my ex-girlfriend, in theory...her life's gotten "interesting" these last few weeks, and the only person she can relate it all to is me, since i'm a total outsider now. i have to admit, the past does come out often from within, it's no biggie...there's nothing much you can do about it. i don't feel love towards her, probably just as friends...cliched but true. and even if i feel like crap around her, i shall continue to be her ever loyal dog. that's one way of putting it. for now. it's just left me wondering over something...if you think about it rationally, you simply don't (get over something). basically:-

1) their memory stays with you all the time
2) memories suck

if there was a way to get over someone totally in an exceptionally short amount of time, i guess that you could be called the saviour of teenyboppers everywhere. suggestions? hormones are a strange thing.

am i over her? i'd like to think so. everything's just a happy memory. that lasted a year. you can't have it all, i guess. memories aside, elaine's like an annoying (elder) little sister: leaves you broke, stranded, spoilt, and doesn't consider/have the slightest idea of what you're feeling. simply amazing, how i can say all this...all i can conclude is that i've found something much, much better.

but then, all this just underscores how unpredictable the game is. nothing is guaranteed to last forever, and if it was, we'd all be happy. (on a side note, it's disconcerting to see that i'm thinking like a 15 year old with issues...and i'm almost 20. bad.) you can't beat the power of emotions, controlled or overwise. you can only roll with the punches, etc....the force be with me. no doubt, i don't need it so far.

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

as people, we value the choices that we make, the choices that've been made, and the choices that we're going to make. we have the freedom of choice; we do what we want, when we want to. without that freedom, we'd probably feel oppressed, caged, cheated...we'd feel like frauds. the question that arises sometimes is whether or not the choices we make are the ones that we suppose are made under our own free will. if you believe in life being preordained, in that everything has to be in its own right place and time, you'd just be thinking that all you're doing is just fulfilling your role in the masterplan, going through the paces. however, if you value your choice, and if you don't totally believe in fate, you might think that whatever you're doing is...well, whatever you're doing. if you're one of the latter, what if it all falls apart one day? what if you found out that everything has been planned for you...and that you've been navigating through the exact same course requested from you? and if you're one of the former, what would happen if you found out one day that there is no fate...that your life has been in your hands all along, and that all the choices that you felt were wrong but allowable were ultimately, wrong...and that you have no one else to blame for all your problems except for yourself? terrifying, isn't it?

people have their own existential crises. they always arise.

"what is real?"

"what is time?"

"what is choice?"

have i been thinking of the matrix a bit too much? probably. but you can't deny it...it just asks the same questions that've been plauging your head every now and then.

is your life really yours? are you in control?

and how are you supposed to know?

Saturday, May 17, 2003

bought the enter the matrix game. haven't played enough of it to give a detailed opinion, but all i can say is just give it time and it'd be alright, hopefully.
as people, do we naturally fall prey to our temptations....even more so when we convince ourselves that we've steeled ourseveles up against it? maybe it's invert reverse psychology, but most of what we don't want to do is usually what we really do want to do...even though not doing it would be for the better good. still, sometimes the most of what we can do would be to disobey ourselves and be honest and just go out and do it. freedom of choice, no? but can we say that we were meant to do what we didn't want to do because it wasn't meant to be what we should've done even if we didn't want to do it?

stop me if i'm confusing you here.

do things happen because they do?...or because they can?
y'know, i take back what i said about the matrix reloaded. yes, it's an overload...but i think i've looked past the effects and the style and now we're just going to look at the overall ending of the movie and what it means.

what does it mean if neo can stop the sentinels in the "real" world? or was that the hammer's emp discharge? i think not. the plot tightens.

ooooo boy.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

let's not even talk about the philosophy of the matrix reloaded. just a few words.

lots to see...lots of eye candy. but there can only be so much...some might find it a good thing, others, bad. overload.

more questions raised than answered. and i can see neo waking up to the same computer screen at the end of revolutions. it'd be fitting, really. it messes with your head.

on a side note: agent smith and the merovingian:- priceless. i'd love, love, love to see more of the merovingian...or to feed girls [*ahem*] his cake.

another side note: censor the kissing but not a digitalized vagina, will you? stupid, stupid, censorship board.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

mmm. so now my dad's gone and i think that i miss him. a bit.

call it therapy or whatever, but life's back to normal. one thing with him around was, i think he's made me see how pointless freedom is when there's nothing to do.

oh, well. the matrix reloaded. thursday morning.

Saturday, May 10, 2003

mmm. i dumped the rap, and i'm hoping to come up with something to replace the party song...basically because the party song doesn't really represent what acoustica's about. in the hopes of sounding like i'm not bragging, the party song sounds too complete...even if you're listening to the same thing being played over and over again. so it's just 10 tracks [still].

acoustica live - 10th may
---------------------------------
walking
??
everything will pass
red dawn sky
spring break
embrace
brazil came to town [formerly interlude 2]
lavender
paradise
too much of a good thing
the girl that got away

Thursday, May 08, 2003

acoustica live
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01. walking
02. can we leave this party
03. everything will pass
04. red dawn sky
05. interlude 1
06. embrace
07. interlude 2
08. lavender
09. paradise
10. interlude 3
11. the girl that got away

25:20

hopefully more to come. it's still not confirmed yet.
part of the bravado that encapsulates most people when they achieve great things seems to annoy people half the time. those who flaunt the fruits of their labour are often envied, admired, revered, despised...among other things. the thing is, baby, if you've got it, flaunt it, because you won't know what tomorrow would bring [or whoever's going to steal it from you]. part of the process by which you wish you were someone else probably comes natural to you...if you admire a certain car, certain house, whatever...it's all a part of human nature. if you, yourself, should own such items that demand attention, you hav every right to feel protective over them...to an extent. me? i put the ps2's plastic packaging over it to protect it from dust...that's legitimate. but stuffing the ipaq ito my pants seconds after taking it out...that may be a bit drastic.

it's all in the name of material love. none other.

so as i ow sit cross writing this, i just wonder how many of us take the better things for granted. what we have may not be as exquisite, exclusive or as elegant as the better man's [whomever he may be], but as long as it's good enough for us, it should be sufficient. is that good enough? or is greed, well...good? is the excess we're used to the catalyst of the so-called drive that we have that makes us perform better [or at least, up to par?] who knows?

is money really the root of evil...or just an inconvenience? something that annoys you may stick around longer and may be even more dangerous than a real threat...lack of money [or rather, the desire for more of it] may be what keeps us alive.

think.

Monday, May 05, 2003

loco. a whole week of mopping, scrubbing. mopping, cleaning and more mopping has finally paid off. my house looks fricking new...almost. and best of all, i've decided to ditch the classic look of my little den and make it all bohemian...or at least, a little more colourful. in fact, i feel so good, i've just had a beer...at 7 in the evening. i feel good...i actually skipped class today just to place everything where i want it. the only thing missing here is a fan. it's kinda hot in this new setting...oh, well. oh, and i've put some curtains on too...privacy's a must, i figure. i'm just happy, really. who needs a bed when you've got a bigger sofa?

i tried hammering in thumb tacks. dumb but noble...at least one went in, and my brazillian mask is hanging from it. the wall is very thick. it was a well-won battle.

that's all for now. i'm still looking for things to accessorise the place.

Friday, May 02, 2003

is mother's day coming up soon? is it today? no matter, i just wish to declare my undying lack of love for my mother. may yours give you all the tlc you need. mine doesn't.

can't wait to see my father's day message, can you?

Thursday, May 01, 2003

you have to see x2.

you have to.

you have to.