sleepless slumber.

thoughts!
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deepavali is the only day of the year where indians smell nice and don't drink beer. or is it? (i'm not racist. please take it in good humour).

i got dumped by two girls who went to england and found newfound love.

i got dumped by a girl after a week because of my unorthodox way of communicating with her. which was by no communication whatsoever. (i need a date doctor).

7-11 outlets are open for 24 hours, yet they need locks.

where do the seeds in seedless grapes come from? (thank you for not answering that, brainiac).

i don't know if i'd rather have sex with a doll that's come to life or a dead chick.

i have a friend who doesn't know if he'd rather have sex with a claymation puppet that's come to life that represents a dead chick or a dead chick.

i haven't bought my own cigarettes in the last 3 days.

my parents may be getting divorced, but they're really taking a long time to get thru with it.

i got dumped for a girl for God. who subsequently became a lesbian for the better part of a year. (the girl, not God).

it's my granduncle's birthday today. he's turning 80.

happy deepavali. oil baths make you smell fragrant for a reason, you shits. (no, seriously, this is just tasteless fun).