"the death issue"

i suppose that everybody's scared of dying. death to me is terrifying; not knowing whatever's going to happen once you lose consciousness forever. yes, forever. i remember being scared to die young because i'd never have the chance to fully realize my life and my life's dreams, whatever they were going to be. it's a strange paradigm shift...from always being defiant in saying that 'i'd rather die than fade away' to the whole 'i'd grow old before i die' trend that seems to be the rage now.

self-preservation is an art. we're all artists. anyway, i always thought of death has being unfair. unkind. it's like when the fates deal you a cruel hand because you decided to make one mistake that would forever blemish your clean slate with God. no doubt, He forgives, but He never forgets; i would expect anyone else to do the same, not less the Divine. i guess that i'm scared of death because i feel that it'd be sudden; imagine having all these great memories and this life that anyone would be proud of and the losing it in an instant.

worst off, having no recollection of it whatsoever. in fact, you wouldn't even be able to recollect anything. wait...to make it easy, my view of death is not being anywhere at anytime. you simple cease to exist. your soul, your inner being, your consciousness...what if it all ends once your body gives up? don't bother about whether or not the mind would survive...after all, doesn't death constitute of the total dysfunction of the brain more than the body?

i'm scared of dying. always have been, always will be. i believe that there's a Heaven. i also believe in a Hell. and a Limbo. and a Purgatory. i don't know what's worst; going to either extreme or cursed to walk the earth forever til Judgement. in a way, you'd want to get things over and done with as quickly as possible, yea? i don't know.

i'm just scared of dying.