my bodily orifices warily wear on.

bacon tastes great in the morning. it's a real pity that i can't eat it right now because it's about 10 to noon, and all i've had has been a bowl of frosties. i don't know if my father has a lunch agenda, but i wish he'd make up his mind before he gets a heart attack and i have to earn money for the medical expenses.

okay, that was a bad joke, but i am hungry.

i went down to kuala selangor yesterday for a seafood lunch, and had the time of my life smashing up a crab's pincers with a mini-hammer. i love food that's made to have the consumer interact with it, and there's nothing more liberating than gleefully whacking away at a claw or two. i also made it a point to call the pincer "motherfucker" in preparation for the battle that i was about to partake in.

no, seriously.

it was during the journey to and fro that i realized how good a tourer the perdana is. it's relatively comfortable to drive in over long distances. as long as the relatives aren't around to make life a living hell (as they were yesterday).

my aunt has been stating that she'd like to get a car made in china, one of the geelys or cherrys or whatever they're called. i would like to say that i don't like my aunt much, but even then i was trying to dissuade her from being an idiot, which most educated lawyers do not become. then again, this is the same woman who's been telling me she's been wanting a camry for the last six years, so...ugh. what an idiot.

i thought politicians were meant to be smart, wily people. then again, she isn't much of a politician, either.

in all honesty, most of the people in my family are power-hungry...but not powermongers. in the pursuit of respect and excellence, everyone in this family's a chimp --- we all think we're smarter than the monkeys but we all eat the same bananas. be it my father's arrogance in knowing everything, or my aunt's unfazed parroting of facts, figures and unfounded shoulder rubbing, or my two idiot uncles who never get their facts right, to even me and my tendency to get pop culture discrepancies righted, we're all fucking chimps.

no, i didn't meant to say that we fornicate with chimps, i'm just saying that we are chimps. strike that metaphor.

also, is it so wrong to secretly long to be younger so that i can court a neurotic 16 year old? i think it is. not that i care much for ethics anymore. chimps don't know the meaning of ethics.

ooo ooo aaah aaah, you wankers.