random paragraphs held together with sentences.

i remember getting hit in the stomach and being shoved onto the ground by wei sheng back in year 7 (form 1). mr. sutter, my geography teacher made a quip about how lydia and i were a couple due to our sharing of the textbook. cute, i suppose, until someone told the guy who had a crush on her and all hell broke loose.

okay, it didn't break loose. he hit me, and i fell to the floor. some line about "don't you dare think of anything", etc. end of story. to be honest with you, i didn't expect it. a friend had yelled out my name and continued to tell me to run. i turned around and found a fist in my stomach. it was a good hit.

i'm a born pushover.

i mean, what could i have done? retaliate? i was chubby, slow, and 12. i'd never have won in a fight back then. thinking of it, i'd never win in a fight now.

i guess that i was brought up with hometown u.s.a. values. the "golly, gee" variety. i thought that "sonuvabitch" was the worst form of swearing when i was seven, and i refused to cuss until i was in year 9. even that was purely accidental. the person i am today was molded in year 9. i became a standalone raving nutcase.

it was the school bus. it really was. it didn't change me into a warrior. i doubt that i could've taken on wei sheng if he was still around at year 9. nope. the school bus gave me a sense of humour. and i owe it to the people who were there with me, who've probably forgotten me except for one or two of them.

school was fun back then. it was kind of a shell of sorts; i was never aware of what being in a public school felt like because all my life, i'd been shipped from one "international" school to another. imagine my amazement when i went into taylor's. it was like being let loose into the jungle to sow my seeds. and sow them, i did. reinvention. i took the tai and made him wry and dry. sarcastic, even. whiny, to the brim. and here i am now.

nothing to show for it.

when i dream, my teeth chatter and i make strange motions with my arms. the other day, while i was dreaming about wrestlers i started kicking lightly. at least that's what i was told. i also snore loudly. i wouldn't be the best bunking partner at camp. how often do you dream when sleeping? if you say that you don't dream, it's probably due to the fact that you don't remember what you've dreamt. i remember the tailend of my dreams...most of us do. it's amazing how our dreams seem to weave in and out of one another at a consistent flow. who needs the cinema when all the action we need is in our heads?

how bizarre.

i really did have a crush on lydia back then. funnily enough, i think she liked me, too. i never found out. after year 7, we were separated. i moved into the pioneering "m" class for year 8. we didn't have classes organized in terms of academic performance...it was the brainiacs and the idiots mixed up. equality for all. it was a democracy in school. amazing. anyway, i only would meet up with lydia again when i took up Art as a GSCE. by that time, there was no crush. but we bonded. as in the whole Art class. all 8 of us. memories.

oh man.

the israelis promised that they'd only attack the southern regions of lebanon suspected of being strongholds for hezbollah. it's saddening to see that beirut is under siege. it's even more saddening to see that nobody can stop israel. even the americans are letting it run amok. it just makes it look like they're actually condoning israel's actions. makes you wonder: if there was a high rate of american casualties, would the united states still be so accomodative?

i don't mean to sound anti-semitic, but israel isn't even really a country.

i'm watching the pirates sequel tomorrow with my father. i can't really remember much of the first one, but i suppose that won't dampen my spirits. the last movie that i'd seen with my dad...it was either baz luhrman's r+j remake or the special edition of star wars: a new hope while we were vacationing in bangkok. i love thailand. thai girls are genuinely pretty. they're striking. dare i say, the majority of them look better than our malaysian chinese variety (especially if you go further north).

i dated a thairish girl once. didn't really work out. happened back in laos, when i was vacationing there. i miss vacations. and i'd only vacation in the siam region during school holiday periods. i guess that means i miss school. i remember getting hit in the stomach in year 7 for a comment my geography teacher made back then.

i guess we've come full circle.