give 'em the slip.

give 'em the slip.

how much of myself can i give to the extracurricular activities that i hold a torch to? how much can i give before people get the idea that i don't do this to be popular or anything...i'm pretty convinced that the more i show myself saying 'come to our event!' the more word would spread that i'm the next best thing to a faggot...i do this because i believe that i've got a role to play to make the students happy. first and foremost, i'm a student...and besides working my ass off, i also deserve to have a little fun. but these last few weeks, it's actually felt like work...i don't know why. when i first joined the council, it was work, yea, but it was fun. but it sorta feels that the last few days have been spent worrying over deadlines, designs, budgets...it's almost sad. i remember pandora saying that she felt pressure that she wasn't supposed to feel. she had a point.

then again, i am the boss. no second thoughts about the shit that i do.

even if it does make me look stupid all the time.

i remember thinking that the biz council could seriously make some sort of difference. petty things, such as the installation of a coke machine on the premises, to something as challenging as tackling the age-long parking issue. i honestly want to do shit like that. that's called serving the students...anyone else can throw a party, a ball, a singing competition (but of course, i'd do it better). the biz council is not purely an event planning division. and we're definitely not an interact club. we're a bunch of students who're willing to make life more colourful for the students...and as a result of that, we make life a little bit more colourful for ourselves.

though i'm still grasping with the whole concept of what we're supposed to do. staff-student meetings have taken a break. is this where we come in?

aren't people supposed to complain to us? isn't that the point? hello?

maybe i'm in over my head on this, but making a difference would mean a lot more to me than seeing a bunch of pretty girls walk by and pose. so here we are, throwing a ball, organizing a comprehensive showing of vocal prowess, and i'm still back at square one: wanting to make a difference. the ironic part is that i'll probably not become a student representative for the staff-student discussions due to biz council work. funny.

yea, well.

help idol news...

the launching has been postponed. no [sic] on wednesday, but cross your fingers. i already had the performance planned out. if it's going to be held at the lower foyer in january, then...even better. a full [sic] show, with the whole atmospheric/electric thing going. it's been a while since [sic] came together. lord, that sounds wrong.

anyway, the reason for the holding off of the launching is simple: we're getting more money to do a better one.

altogether now...hallelujah. miracles do happen. preliminary sponsorship has been secured, anyway. and the funny part is, i was already planning phase two of the sales/promotions plan when i got word. not to give myself too much credit, but...for once...i'd just like to pat the team [including myself] on the back for being so blatantly disorganized but still a bunch of lucky lords and ladies. extra kudos to yong jia...you did the right thing. if your group was a mess, i'd do exactly what you would've done. fuck 'em, you still got the job done.

the homestead...

my father's leaving tomorrow. he'll be back in mid-january for the divorce hearing. not to sound overly dramatic, but it's the beginning of the end.

or is it? (cue quizzically menacing music here).

i've bought what i call survival food. a lot of tuna. a lot of chips. a lot of drinks. frozen processed packages included as well. this sounds harsh, but i'm not really planning on seeing my mother anytime soon. not til the hearings. now, let's see if i can be as heartless as i've set out to be.

look at it this way...i've never, ever heard it from my father's point of view so bluntly before. things have happened that shouldn't have, and it's almost clear to me now that both my parents are nuts. me included. what i can do now is just sit back, relax and just try to live a [ab]normal life.

hmph. this whole marriage thing makes it clear to me: it's awfully easy to love someone when nobody's loved you before.