dada diaries: day 10.
we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year,
running over the same old ground...
what have we found?
the same old fears.
wish you were here.
sometimes i wonder where my friends've gone. then i remember that i never really bothered to keep in touch with them in the first place. i've left friends behind in the states for 14 years already. back then, you never realize how important it is to keep in touch. ditto for singapore. who knows?...i could have had the shag of my life with one of those righteous twins in year 5 now.
possibilities, eh?
ditto when it comes down to garden international. aside from the occasional friendster acquaintance from way back then, i'd much rather avoid particular people. i guess that being older should grant me the ability not to be annoyed by the jocks and queens, but...yea. i was never cool enough, and in a lot of respects, i'm still not. and y'know...it does bother me to an extent. what would've happened if i was in the clique of all cliques?
would i have turned out differently? the debate rages on. the person i am on the outside is so much different from the person i am at home. but lest you forget, i've already had a lifetime of experiences that're more than fulfilling. i've been to the great divide and back, and have sampled a wide range of emotions, whilst touching the inner recesses of my mind, as well as the darkest depths of my godforsaken soul. i have a feeling that God still doesn't like me that much...but maybe a little bit more.
the people that i've hung around with have been cool in their own right. y'know, the nerds, geeks, sci-fi afficiandos, music lovers, artschool peeps who'd have a ball of a time when one of the uppity clique would need our help. but now the status quo has changed somewhat; in college/university, there're a million other people just like you --- and you can reinvent yourself faster than madonna can say "conical bra". and, if you try hard enough, you can convince people that you were always part of the jock club, even if you weren't. it's just another clean slate.
fun, no?
in the end, we're all nice people...in different ways. i'm sure that i would only have been acknowledged when my help was needed...i remember a particular classmate from that bunch who wanted my math homework every fucking day. as well as the fact that i had a number of the jocks hooked on bon jovi for a whole term. i worked my magic then. nowadays, my mana level has increased by a hundredfold and i'm charming little girls into wearing my own line of underwear...but i shan't get ahead of myself.
but we're all nice people, aren't we? even if we're all assholes on the outside. i've got to believe in that. the world's running out of nice people.
this is for the lost friends. who weren't really "friends" of the lifelong relationship variety, but...yeah. the people who i never talked to after leaving. and to the ones who i've somehow hooked up to again but haven't spoken to since then. you know who you are, but you probably aren't reading this.
silly me.
apart from this, i still have no idea when my father's coming back. he should be departing from china either tonight or tomorrow morning, and from there it's all guesswork as to where he is. i'm not sure how to break it to him that the perdana's forward left rim is damaged from the smdj pothole (it was that bad)...since i wasn't supposed to take his prized possession out. oops. then again, if he had the audacity to proclaim that he wouldn't fix his damage if it was too expensive to correct, maybe he'll just let the rim rot off. that'd be funny.
the fear of parental reprimand! damaging the car! needing to absolve myself of any blame! flat broke! success!
i feel 16 again!
running over the same old ground...
what have we found?
the same old fears.
wish you were here.
sometimes i wonder where my friends've gone. then i remember that i never really bothered to keep in touch with them in the first place. i've left friends behind in the states for 14 years already. back then, you never realize how important it is to keep in touch. ditto for singapore. who knows?...i could have had the shag of my life with one of those righteous twins in year 5 now.
possibilities, eh?
ditto when it comes down to garden international. aside from the occasional friendster acquaintance from way back then, i'd much rather avoid particular people. i guess that being older should grant me the ability not to be annoyed by the jocks and queens, but...yea. i was never cool enough, and in a lot of respects, i'm still not. and y'know...it does bother me to an extent. what would've happened if i was in the clique of all cliques?
would i have turned out differently? the debate rages on. the person i am on the outside is so much different from the person i am at home. but lest you forget, i've already had a lifetime of experiences that're more than fulfilling. i've been to the great divide and back, and have sampled a wide range of emotions, whilst touching the inner recesses of my mind, as well as the darkest depths of my godforsaken soul. i have a feeling that God still doesn't like me that much...but maybe a little bit more.
the people that i've hung around with have been cool in their own right. y'know, the nerds, geeks, sci-fi afficiandos, music lovers, artschool peeps who'd have a ball of a time when one of the uppity clique would need our help. but now the status quo has changed somewhat; in college/university, there're a million other people just like you --- and you can reinvent yourself faster than madonna can say "conical bra". and, if you try hard enough, you can convince people that you were always part of the jock club, even if you weren't. it's just another clean slate.
fun, no?
in the end, we're all nice people...in different ways. i'm sure that i would only have been acknowledged when my help was needed...i remember a particular classmate from that bunch who wanted my math homework every fucking day. as well as the fact that i had a number of the jocks hooked on bon jovi for a whole term. i worked my magic then. nowadays, my mana level has increased by a hundredfold and i'm charming little girls into wearing my own line of underwear...but i shan't get ahead of myself.
but we're all nice people, aren't we? even if we're all assholes on the outside. i've got to believe in that. the world's running out of nice people.
this is for the lost friends. who weren't really "friends" of the lifelong relationship variety, but...yeah. the people who i never talked to after leaving. and to the ones who i've somehow hooked up to again but haven't spoken to since then. you know who you are, but you probably aren't reading this.
silly me.
apart from this, i still have no idea when my father's coming back. he should be departing from china either tonight or tomorrow morning, and from there it's all guesswork as to where he is. i'm not sure how to break it to him that the perdana's forward left rim is damaged from the smdj pothole (it was that bad)...since i wasn't supposed to take his prized possession out. oops. then again, if he had the audacity to proclaim that he wouldn't fix his damage if it was too expensive to correct, maybe he'll just let the rim rot off. that'd be funny.
the fear of parental reprimand! damaging the car! needing to absolve myself of any blame! flat broke! success!
i feel 16 again!
posted by funkyhippopotamus at
8:15:00 pm
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