Coming up short.
There's this Chinese belief which states that your balls grow enormous if you eat a hard boiled egg that's been left in the open for more than a day. Supposing that this is true, would having bigger balls increase the pressure in which semen would be rocketed out? Or would it be the male equivalent of a camel's humps: maximum sperm storage to last you all the way?
Ultimately, bigger balls would mean a dwarfed penis in comparison.
Hey, it's just a thought.
In the past, the Greeks had an adoration of an underdeveloped body. Meaning: "an uncircumcised and small penis was desirable in a man, whereas a bigger or circumcised penis was viewed as comical". Or so Wikipedia says.
I get insecure when it comes to the mighty phallus. I suppose that I more than make up for it with my dashing wit and smothering charm, but sometimes, just sometimes, I'd dream of having a Dirk Diggler of my own. As a result, I'd ooze machismo (figuratively), have more self-confidence and give Ron Jeremy a run for his money. Okay, maybe not a tool of Ron Jeremy standards (I don't want to kill anyone), but something that could be considered a good size. Or something that would at the very least make my current package blush...too much is not enough, after all.
I suppose that this is all in my mind, and in the minds of all deprived young studs everywhere. After all, most girls don't really bother with their partners' pecker sizes. It's the partner themselves who make them feel better. Which goes to show that sex isn't on the agenda for Woman as much as it is for the common Man.
So cheer up, if your willy isn't as free if you'd like it to be! If your one-eyed monster needs some contacts! If your hot dog needs some serious steaming! If your trouser snake doesn't rattle! If your pecker's been pickled! If your twig isn't as long as the bark! If you can't get a Congressional Medal of Honor for hooking it up as quickly as you should (I don't really know what that means)!
Just relax, and remember: if you're humping as opposed to pumping, you're certainly in good hands.
Ultimately, bigger balls would mean a dwarfed penis in comparison.
Hey, it's just a thought.
In the past, the Greeks had an adoration of an underdeveloped body. Meaning: "an uncircumcised and small penis was desirable in a man, whereas a bigger or circumcised penis was viewed as comical". Or so Wikipedia says.
I get insecure when it comes to the mighty phallus. I suppose that I more than make up for it with my dashing wit and smothering charm, but sometimes, just sometimes, I'd dream of having a Dirk Diggler of my own. As a result, I'd ooze machismo (figuratively), have more self-confidence and give Ron Jeremy a run for his money. Okay, maybe not a tool of Ron Jeremy standards (I don't want to kill anyone), but something that could be considered a good size. Or something that would at the very least make my current package blush...too much is not enough, after all.
I suppose that this is all in my mind, and in the minds of all deprived young studs everywhere. After all, most girls don't really bother with their partners' pecker sizes. It's the partner themselves who make them feel better. Which goes to show that sex isn't on the agenda for Woman as much as it is for the common Man.
So cheer up, if your willy isn't as free if you'd like it to be! If your one-eyed monster needs some contacts! If your hot dog needs some serious steaming! If your trouser snake doesn't rattle! If your pecker's been pickled! If your twig isn't as long as the bark! If you can't get a Congressional Medal of Honor for hooking it up as quickly as you should (I don't really know what that means)!
Just relax, and remember: if you're humping as opposed to pumping, you're certainly in good hands.
posted by funkyhippopotamus at
3:07:00 am
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