infomercials. the best form of creative advertising out there today. you always approach it with initial skepticism, but in the end, you walk out a changed person. burned out celebrity endorsements, great user testimonies and a handful of other factors [such as images shown of guys and their abs] adorn these 2 minute clips [unless we're going for the whole half hour quantum showcase extravaganza] and teach us how to lose flab around our tummy and love handle areas can be done by simple applying a magic gel [after drinking a glass of water, no less] to our desired areas of reduction...it's all great and everything, i suppose. mmm. and don't forget how we can tone and build our muscles from a sliding/skating action device that also doubles as a ab trainer by allowing us to stretch as well. and that was promoted by the former olympic skating champion and the obligatory austrian bodybuilding champion who sounded exactly like a particular mr. schwarzenegger, which has led me to believe that they grow them all the same in austria. home of johann strauss, yes, i can imagine...but that accent. ugh. i can never be anything like what i see on tv [though i came close once, a long time ago, being the fat, cute, rotund chinese kid you see in all those chinese dramas who gets called "fei chai"], so i can safely say that i'd be convinced of the capabilites of infomercials into telling me that i'm even worse off than i originally imagined. but then again, i can jog for a kilometre, fun around a football field faster than any of the skinnier guys, and i'm convinced that my stamina has increased by twofold...no small feat considering the fact that i'm not supposed to have stamina. in short, i don't really believe in infomercials because they generally make us feel bad about ourselves. they strike a chord [and possibly a nerve] within you to go out and change your appearance...to get that hair revitalizer...i mean, dammit...i remember that dieting product which you had to drink to lose weight...the testimonies were the fakes ["i'm sooooooo happy with what _______ has done for me"], and...i mean...c'mon...even the fine print in the ad stated that it wouldn't work without a proper diet and exercise.

mary.

it's insulting to our intelligence...it's even more insulting that the chinese housewives or whoever who actually view these ads are convinced that they can benefit from them. if a 57 year old housewife decides to lose weight to grab the attention of her husband who can't even perform without a handful of viagra pills...well...i guess you can admire her for initializing the attempt to get the zing back into the marriage, but let's be realistic here: there's only one way to lose weight...and that's through sweating. now, what you do to sweat isn't my concern...as it should be anyone else's. hair loss? well...shave your head. looks better, it's a statement of intention, and apparently, bald men gain favour now. now, ads with motor oil and lubricant [tee-hee-hee], i can't argue about, since i don't have the slightest idea about engines and cars, and it all looks like it's got nothing to do with people or their bodies [except for their wallets] so i guess that there's nothing wrong there...for now. remember didi seven? i think my dad bought it once and found out that it didn't do jack. there's one purchase no one should ever make...or repeat. mmm. i'm pretty sure that there're other solutions to our own self-image problems. go to a gym. jog a bit. eat less [not working for me, though]. it's a world full of possibilites, dammit...even if you are butt-ugly, overweight and saggy, as sick as it sounds, there's someone waiting for you out there...don't change yourself because you want acceptance...it pretty much ends in "look at the weight she's lost!...anorexic!". not good. bad vibes. fat and jolly as opposed to thin and miserable. unless you're already thin and miserable, that's when you need to eat more [you lucky sods, you]...so don't be scared of how you look. are you attractive to someone else's eyes? that's up to the someone else, in'it? remember...apple of the eye doesn't necessary mean you can't be pear-shaped. can we all change?

damned if i do, damned if i don't.