"freejack"
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sometimes i wonder if i live up to my parents' expectations. although they've split and everything, i'm pretty sure that after all this time, they still have this idea of what they want me to be and how they'd like to see me. it's funny, really, because i've given at least 5 different ambitions since i was aged 5, and nothing, nothing, has materialized since then. it's one of those things when your parents are just itching to tell you to get out of the house, but they can't, simply because you're their son. though i've almost been disowned by my father once. that's a funny story for another time.
expecatations are something that we can never be free from. the promise of becoming something better always applies pressure to ourselves in the most uncomplimentary way. we stay up late at night studying, rush to get our work done perfectly, and we have to maintain our standards once we get on with it all. it's not easy being perfect, they say, and i guess that's pretty bloody obvious. i bet you that they're a lot of incarnations of people like me -- guys who probably can do better, have the desire, but never came around to it simply because...they didn't. and now i think that i'm starting to feel the after effects of letting most of everybody down.
tragic? perhaps. according to sofia in vanilla sky, every second is another chance to turn it all around. or some variant of that statement, i don't know. and she's right. and there's nothing better than seeing penelope cruz deliver that line. but that's yet another story for another time.
nothing's really caved in for me, simply because i haven't really met any expectations. there was that outlandish distinction i got for management for my diploma [which everybody, and i mean everybody, subsequently forgot] but other than that, it's been a pretty quiet time for your noble hero here. i've still got some time left...so...what t'do?
the suspense is just killing me.
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sometimes i wonder if i live up to my parents' expectations. although they've split and everything, i'm pretty sure that after all this time, they still have this idea of what they want me to be and how they'd like to see me. it's funny, really, because i've given at least 5 different ambitions since i was aged 5, and nothing, nothing, has materialized since then. it's one of those things when your parents are just itching to tell you to get out of the house, but they can't, simply because you're their son. though i've almost been disowned by my father once. that's a funny story for another time.
expecatations are something that we can never be free from. the promise of becoming something better always applies pressure to ourselves in the most uncomplimentary way. we stay up late at night studying, rush to get our work done perfectly, and we have to maintain our standards once we get on with it all. it's not easy being perfect, they say, and i guess that's pretty bloody obvious. i bet you that they're a lot of incarnations of people like me -- guys who probably can do better, have the desire, but never came around to it simply because...they didn't. and now i think that i'm starting to feel the after effects of letting most of everybody down.
tragic? perhaps. according to sofia in vanilla sky, every second is another chance to turn it all around. or some variant of that statement, i don't know. and she's right. and there's nothing better than seeing penelope cruz deliver that line. but that's yet another story for another time.
nothing's really caved in for me, simply because i haven't really met any expectations. there was that outlandish distinction i got for management for my diploma [which everybody, and i mean everybody, subsequently forgot] but other than that, it's been a pretty quiet time for your noble hero here. i've still got some time left...so...what t'do?
the suspense is just killing me.
posted by funkyhippopotamus at
6:58:00 am
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