be my lil' rock 'n roll queen.

you drive me mad.

the day's gone by steadily enough. basketball started at about 4:30 and i came back at 7:30, about a quarter of an hour ago.

i watched akira prior to basketball. the older i get, the more i seem to actually understand the movie. maybe it helps that i actually sat through the whole thing as well, as opposed to sleeping during intervals as before. the movie's great, it really is...it's just that it tests your patience to a certain degree. the first time i watched it was ages ago when i borrowed the video off the masterful surprise. that was back in taylor's, so...6 years ago? it was made back in '86 or '87, and it's still an amazing piece of art to watch.

and it's just bizarre.

i wonder if i can ever maintain my accent when i'm speaking to someone local. i need the accent. not to impress people, but because i seem to drive messages through thick skulls easier. and it also works as a tool to gain the confidence of the White Man (the whole lot of them, not just any particular one). it works out to my advantage. i'm not going to dispute the authenticity of my accent. it's mine, and it's real. (sounds so futile, no?) and it creeps in when i talk to everyone else. but i think in it, which is weird, really.

reason is treason.

i mean, i know it's weird to see a chinese guy from kl speak like he's from san fernando, but, hey...you have to admit it's special. and i don't use it all the time; i'm quite economical with it. it creeps up all the time in basketball. blame the French. (if you ever read this, G + thom, i'm sorry). nonetheless, today we had an english-malay guy join us, and i didn't quite know what to do. i said hello with a modicum of the accent thrown in to show him that i wasn't totally beng.

hey. totally beng sounds like such an awesome brandname. and would anyone like to register bengdom.com for me?

i have a dream. not one of the dreams i keep on writing about, but a real aim, a lifetime's worth of achievement type of dream. i'd really love it if i became a celebrity restaurantuer with the opening of my first boutique restaurant, called...foo's.

i can see it now. in my head. people knowing who i am. i can open bottles of fine wine and liquor to good friends and big spenders. and maybe for a table of ladies. where everybody knows my name. and where everbody (mostly) knows everybody else's names.

it would be beautiful. it would be...blue. it would be foo's.

either that or i establish a lingerie company called taifoohing. which roughly translates into "popular underwear" from cantonese, or as theo likes to say, "happening panties". tres cool. and it might actually work (if marketed well). i'm not talking about any cheap kiki lala childrens' underwear. i'm talking about malaysia's first global lingerie company. a malaysian victoria's secret. yeah. called taifoohing.

a man can dream.