broke, broker, broken.

i've never experienced abject poverty, though i understand what it feels like to be temporarily broke for a period of more than 2 weeks. despite this current dry patch i'm facing, the last time that this happened to me was around 2 years ago, and circumstances were a lot worst than they are now. i had no food in the freezer, and meals consisted around eating wholemeal bread with a variety of condiments. it's not that bad now. i've been keeping myself busy in the kitchen for the last few days, while waiting for my father's return. my uncle came to me today explaining that the newspaper delivery man has been asking for his monthly payment. sigh. on the bright side, the bills were just taken care of before my dad decided to go on his exodus, so we've got that side of life handled...they're not going to cut us off anytime soon.

i think.

it's not like i don't mind being broke and hungry, but it does bring about a bright side. for starters, i don't go out as much (if at all), and it saves me money...although i don't have money to save/spend to start off with. also, it allows me time to stay home and do some things that i normally wouldn't have time for: like cooking. i assessed my own fried rice last night and realized it was hideous. i looked up recipes and found out that i wasn't doing anything wrong; i've blamed the wok, and i'm going to try frying rice on the nonstick pan from this moment on. maybe tonight. also, not having money for a short period of time allows you the legitimate of asking friends for lifts to college (thank you, mr. lee!). i also lose weight as a direct result of not eating.

by this time some of you might be wondering why i don't ask my aunt for money. she's not as bad as she seems, but funnily enough, she's only nice to people when my father isn't around for 2 weeks or more. she's asked about my pills, as well as whether i've started the car. to answer the second question, my car won't start. but i've got jumper cables. if you'd like to help a poor man out, please drive your car over to my place and help me start my car. i'll treat you to a round or two of fifa. and i'll burn you internet porn for free. or the second season of lost, if you'd prefer.

i don't like asking my aunt for money. i've done so in the past and it was totally awkward. i didn't feel any shame for doing so, but after asking her, i did feel ashamed because she refused to help me out despite knowing that my dad would cover her back upon his return. it's too much trouble and hassle, and it's really complicated. if you're wondering why i don't ask my mom, it's mostly because the onus isn't on my mother anymore to do things like that. this really is my problem.

yes, my being broke (for now) is my own fault.

can i blame my father this once?

yes, it's my father's fault.

no-lah.

in all honesty, it just happens. and it's a good thing that we have food in the freezer...that nobody wants to cook besides me. we've got a few kilos of rice left, and enough rendang, prawn and bah kut teh powder and pork cubes to last us for another week. and situations like this make you go back to the eat to live aspect of things as opposed to the live to eat scenario. i'd love to go to mcd's and kfc right now, but i can only cook at home and live a bit more prudently (more than a bit, i'd say).

my aunt assumed that my father was going to come back sometime this week. we've got about 4 more days til the new weeks rears its head.

ah. the life of a bum.

but seriously, it'd be really nice if the car could start. sigh. i'm not poor; i'm just broke.

anyone want comics?