newfound hope.

i had a diet coke. and she had tea.
she clasped her hands around the mug, and took a small, polite sip.
she made it a point to be neat. not for my sake, nor to make a good impression upon me...
but because it was who she was.

no. not prim and proper. i knew that she could let loose.
i mean, i hadn't seen it, but i had the feeling.
and not "loose" to the extent that it would be extreme.
maybe...someone who could...lighten up (?) in the right situation.

i didn't know what i was getting into.
i had a good feeling.

so...we started going out. not as a bundle, but...as...friends?

it was strange. there's a certain allure about taking time to get to know a person.
you put on your best front.
you try your hardest to make a difference.
to give that extra something.

you take for granted that it's all they need.

but...isn't it?

it was a grand scheme of things.
my new outlook on the world...with someone new to share it with me.

it...could've...worked. i think.

isn't it funny how guys are really the ones who fall the hardest?
i mean...
i mean, you hear how girls always talk about their problems and issues.
i don't want to be some kind of new-age sensitive prod, but...
it was...painful.

it hadn't been that long, but it was painful.
maybe i put too much into it? too much hope, too much of whatever?

damn.

honestly? it felt like it was a good thing.

then again, i think back and i look at it this way:

i had a diet coke. and she had tea.