stiff upper lip.

i don't know what to write. i was trying to snare the spirit of human resilience, thus explaining why we're better than the animals, but at this precise moment, i can't see how we're any different from monkeys. we spend all our time arguing over who gets the bananas that we forget the whole point of being monkeys: we just are.

it's been a day where i wish that i wasn't me. and it's another day where i wish i had someone to talk to at home over how incredibly crappy my day has been. anyone, really. i won't divulge too much, but interestingly enough, things have gotten incredibly tense at home over the last two days. to quote john motson, you could cut that tension with a knife.

i leave the house thinking that things will get better in college and i end up leaving college thinking that things will be better at home. dah. wishful thinking can only get you so far. i can only say that a lifetime of bad parenting and extreme circumstances have led me to becoming a balanced personaility with a cool head in times of crisis. at least it shows in college. somehow.

but somehow, we all argue amongst ourselves over the bananas. that's what we do. it's what we're good at. i've managed to steer clear of it...i mean, even amongst family, why can't we all get along? do we always have to antagonize each other?

i remember this indian saying over how an indian could fuck around with another indian, but if someone non-indian were to fuck around with an indian, all the indians would fuck him over.

i wish my family had that level of camaderie. hell, i wish the people in college had that. in turn, it'd spread, the love would go around and the world would be in relative peace for a while. a perfect, perfect seed of an idea.

pay it forward. no, seriously. that haley joel osment movie had a point to it. let the love spread. i better stop before i get into my hippy mode.

there's nothing better than a good nap to get over those tuesday night blues.