Whirlwind kicks in birthday suits.

This is for the boys. Strictly for the boys.

Hands up for those of you who'd wished they could've done a girl from the media...and I don't mean the movies. I mean the print media, cartoons, video games...you get my drift.

The best thing a man needs is a perfect woman. Whether or not it's Lara Croft (not the Jolie version), Fairchild from Gen13 (superb comic), Jill Valentine, Maki...there's no doubt that these avatars would've brought hour upon hour of some sort of sick pleasure for the average gamer.

They never fussed, never looked like they had a bad hair day, and best of all, they were around every time we needed them around. Just flip open a book, or pop in a cartridge or a cd and voila. Instant joy!

Reality's obviously played a mean trick on all of us. I can say that I'm socially adept at surviving, but not all of us may have made it out alive.

This is for those of you who're still cocooned in your games, your anime and your comics (among other...dubious...options).

Would you like to see the shower scene of a nude Chun-Li from the Japanese animated Street Fighter II movie? Just click here. I feel for you, I really do. But don't feel bad.

I've seen it, too.

The pantyhose and bun-tied hair will never be the same for me.