Rant rave.

• Ample cleavage eventually gets amply saggy.
  
  
• Without a doubt, I'm definitely cut out for a life of doing nothing at all.

• If I was a Mayor, and I had a female Chief of Staff, then she'd be just that: my own personal chief of staff. Insert the drum roll here.

• I can't stand the fact that my stepmother likes stomping her thong-padded feet around the house. I also can't abide by the fact that she prefers to slam good china plates onto a glass table, as opposed to taking a modicum more of effort to just simply place them properly on said table.

• I have nothing against Turkish people. I just have something against Turkish people playing poker on Facebook.

• People who walk around and think that they can do whatever they like usually don't know that they walk around thinking that they can do whatever they like.

• I still haven't been stung by a bee yet.

• Actually, in technical terms, my stepmother isn't even my stepmother.

• It's alright to be overly righteous because you'll never be as righteous as me, anyway.

• The ends never justify the means. Which is why you should cheat more, coz nobody would really give a toss.

• I sleep with my head beneath the sheets because I'm scared of the dark.

• The hottest girl in my neighbourhood kicked me in the balls four times over the period of a football match. That's bonding.

• Having sex does not make you sophisticated. Having a long list of partners who've had sex with you does not make you sophisticated. Having multiple partners who simultaneously have sex with you does not make you sophisticated. Anal sex is not sophisticated. Introducing your friends to a self-described fuck buddy and then chasing another tail shortly after that does not make you sophisticated. Openly trumpeting this certainly doesn't make you sophisticated. And, despite your denials, you're sad enough to care about what people think of you. You know who you are.

• It's hard to believe in karma when all the good people leave you and the bad seeds stay afloat.

• Taking the effort to reestablish contact is great until you realize that they're doing it for a favour.

• Never forget dates.

• I like short shorts.

• My interpretation of love will always be deeper than yours. Simply because I know that it's something more that's served chilled on a silver platter.