this was originally an email that i sent...but i guess it does serve its purpose here. oh, and please notice that it basically contradicts EVERYTHING i've said about the holidays so far...i'm so full of crap!
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mmm. it's been hot in here. chinese new year weather rocks: hot as hell, and twice as dry. the fact that most of my relatives are these people who don't make an effort to visit us more than once a year is okay...it's the fact that they're stingy bastards which pisses me off. no matter...as i'm officially the youngest in the bloodline, i should be getting more...but i think everyone's enamoured with my cousin since he's older by a few months and oh-so-much-taller. tall people suck [not you, keong, you're pretty okay] coz they think that vertically challenged people like me can't play basketball [one of my uncles was talking to my cousin solely about basketball and leaving me out of the conversation] while i could probably swish and lay-up and probably dunk better than he could [on a child-height basketball hoop, of course]. oh, and there're always those husbands of your distant aunties who come to your house...and the only thing they ever say whenever they open their mouths are "where's your toilet?" mmmph. not to mention that "old friend" of the family who comes by on chap goh mei [or a day before that] when all the chinese new year delicacies and goodies are all finished and bitches about how little we have to offer to eat. this is the same woman who called the family almost every night wanting moral support for a divorce that left her in "tatters" despite her winning a pretty big house in ampang and a substantially tidy sum. don't get me started on her psychopathic ex-husband.
but in the end, i'm just bitching about the lack of money that i get. yep. it's all about the money, and not the bohemian heat [shite, it's not even bohemian...bohemian heat makes me think of debauchery and wine and women and free flowing food], not the naggy relatives, not the aunties who heap praises upon the OTHER brother's son, not the old men who talk politics that they don't know jack about, no...i'm just bitching about lots of ang pows and the lack of money WITHIN them. i know i haven't taken into the account that they're old and elderly and maybe they'd like to spend money on themselves as opposed to this long-haired freak who can't speak a word of chinese, but, c'mon...we're gonna be the ones who run this country, so we need good capital. i need a new handphone with a colour display to show off to the younger kids in the neighbourhood...i need to set an example that no matter how young you are, yuppie greed can be accessible if you have the funds. i want to be the shining example of excess. though my protruding stomach doesn't have to be used as an example of greed, no.
in times like these, money is the equivalent of love.
let love rule.
okay, now that i'm done with the hypocrisy [i totally agree...a hypocrite who admits to being a hypocrite is even more of hypocrite, regardless of whether he changes or not...erm...that might describe me], let's get on with it...download the song "leaves" by this band called "ours" coz it's perfect and pure shimmery brit-rock at its [almost] finest. oh, and "green eyes" by coldplay is good because it just makes you want to be chris martin [getting dumped by gwyneth and all]. speaking of which, i think his teeth have been enchanced in some photos...he's got awful, awful teeth. download the chili pepper's "i could die for you" because it basically shows what a good rock ballad could sound like when it's been californicationized.
yea, sean, ally mcbeal's been cancelled...i'm astro-less, but i'm catching the last season on ntv 7 here...and i have to say, jon bon jovi is hot. if i was a girl/gay, i'd swoon over him [waaaaait...what'm i doing now?!], but, nah. i had a friend say that he'd do ben affleck if he was gay [and this was an immediate response, without thinking, when asked], so...yeaaaa. and you don't have the new season of friends there? well, it's probably never coming to malaysia, unless it's already on astro, so...like i said, first two episodes were killer, and it's good that they're having one more season. i guess that friends simply won't die without a fight. and there aren't enough established sitcoms on the market, so i guess friends might possibly stay even for another year after next. we'll see...
how many of you love americans? complacent bastards, aren't they? i don't really know the facts, but, c'mon...to the extent of grand moff tarkin ignoring the fact that the death star had a giant, giant, GIANT hole that a single torpedo could zoom through and rip apart [re: galactic sex ed], nasa scientists come a close second. wait, tarkin wasn't american. no matter.
the columbia was scheduled to be retired back in '01. however, the powers that be decided to invest more money into it and "upgrade" it, as opposed to spending more money to construct a new shuttle craft. i know that the initial lift-off debris might've struck the columbia a fatal blow, but, please...the shuttle was already commissioned to be scrapped. american complacency might have been what killed those 7 astronauts. just because you send a man to the moon, just because you're the world's first [and only] national superpower, just because you've got tom cruise, it doesn't mean that nothing's going to go wrong with you. and i'm not an advocate of war either. i think bush should let clinton come back. i'd rather read about an intern boning him than hear bush talk about iraq...iraq...and iraq. as you can see, i don't like american bureaucrats much. the people are fine [they're sorta grey about bush], i love the french and germans [besides peugeot and bmw, they all hate bush] as well as the koreans [hyundai and daewoo are fine with me, and they all hate bush].
so, i guess that we all should send a letter to america's capitol and tell them this: change the amendments of the bill and allow a former president to reside for another term...or as many terms as it takes. bring back clinton!
*ahem* yes. anyway, at the beginning of the year [the official one], i made a resolution to eat less. the only resolution this year. that i could fit into a comfy pair of size 31 levi's by the end of the year. well. it's with great pride and dishonour to announce that i've broken that resolution. chinese new year rocks. to some extent.
yes, and that's all for this afternoon from my ignorant, ignorant mind. if you've finished with today's ranting, then i thank you...this is what happens when you have nothing better to do.
ho-hum. sonic adventure.
--------------------------------------------------
mmm. it's been hot in here. chinese new year weather rocks: hot as hell, and twice as dry. the fact that most of my relatives are these people who don't make an effort to visit us more than once a year is okay...it's the fact that they're stingy bastards which pisses me off. no matter...as i'm officially the youngest in the bloodline, i should be getting more...but i think everyone's enamoured with my cousin since he's older by a few months and oh-so-much-taller. tall people suck [not you, keong, you're pretty okay] coz they think that vertically challenged people like me can't play basketball [one of my uncles was talking to my cousin solely about basketball and leaving me out of the conversation] while i could probably swish and lay-up and probably dunk better than he could [on a child-height basketball hoop, of course]. oh, and there're always those husbands of your distant aunties who come to your house...and the only thing they ever say whenever they open their mouths are "where's your toilet?" mmmph. not to mention that "old friend" of the family who comes by on chap goh mei [or a day before that] when all the chinese new year delicacies and goodies are all finished and bitches about how little we have to offer to eat. this is the same woman who called the family almost every night wanting moral support for a divorce that left her in "tatters" despite her winning a pretty big house in ampang and a substantially tidy sum. don't get me started on her psychopathic ex-husband.
but in the end, i'm just bitching about the lack of money that i get. yep. it's all about the money, and not the bohemian heat [shite, it's not even bohemian...bohemian heat makes me think of debauchery and wine and women and free flowing food], not the naggy relatives, not the aunties who heap praises upon the OTHER brother's son, not the old men who talk politics that they don't know jack about, no...i'm just bitching about lots of ang pows and the lack of money WITHIN them. i know i haven't taken into the account that they're old and elderly and maybe they'd like to spend money on themselves as opposed to this long-haired freak who can't speak a word of chinese, but, c'mon...we're gonna be the ones who run this country, so we need good capital. i need a new handphone with a colour display to show off to the younger kids in the neighbourhood...i need to set an example that no matter how young you are, yuppie greed can be accessible if you have the funds. i want to be the shining example of excess. though my protruding stomach doesn't have to be used as an example of greed, no.
in times like these, money is the equivalent of love.
let love rule.
okay, now that i'm done with the hypocrisy [i totally agree...a hypocrite who admits to being a hypocrite is even more of hypocrite, regardless of whether he changes or not...erm...that might describe me], let's get on with it...download the song "leaves" by this band called "ours" coz it's perfect and pure shimmery brit-rock at its [almost] finest. oh, and "green eyes" by coldplay is good because it just makes you want to be chris martin [getting dumped by gwyneth and all]. speaking of which, i think his teeth have been enchanced in some photos...he's got awful, awful teeth. download the chili pepper's "i could die for you" because it basically shows what a good rock ballad could sound like when it's been californicationized.
yea, sean, ally mcbeal's been cancelled...i'm astro-less, but i'm catching the last season on ntv 7 here...and i have to say, jon bon jovi is hot. if i was a girl/gay, i'd swoon over him [waaaaait...what'm i doing now?!], but, nah. i had a friend say that he'd do ben affleck if he was gay [and this was an immediate response, without thinking, when asked], so...yeaaaa. and you don't have the new season of friends there? well, it's probably never coming to malaysia, unless it's already on astro, so...like i said, first two episodes were killer, and it's good that they're having one more season. i guess that friends simply won't die without a fight. and there aren't enough established sitcoms on the market, so i guess friends might possibly stay even for another year after next. we'll see...
how many of you love americans? complacent bastards, aren't they? i don't really know the facts, but, c'mon...to the extent of grand moff tarkin ignoring the fact that the death star had a giant, giant, GIANT hole that a single torpedo could zoom through and rip apart [re: galactic sex ed], nasa scientists come a close second. wait, tarkin wasn't american. no matter.
the columbia was scheduled to be retired back in '01. however, the powers that be decided to invest more money into it and "upgrade" it, as opposed to spending more money to construct a new shuttle craft. i know that the initial lift-off debris might've struck the columbia a fatal blow, but, please...the shuttle was already commissioned to be scrapped. american complacency might have been what killed those 7 astronauts. just because you send a man to the moon, just because you're the world's first [and only] national superpower, just because you've got tom cruise, it doesn't mean that nothing's going to go wrong with you. and i'm not an advocate of war either. i think bush should let clinton come back. i'd rather read about an intern boning him than hear bush talk about iraq...iraq...and iraq. as you can see, i don't like american bureaucrats much. the people are fine [they're sorta grey about bush], i love the french and germans [besides peugeot and bmw, they all hate bush] as well as the koreans [hyundai and daewoo are fine with me, and they all hate bush].
so, i guess that we all should send a letter to america's capitol and tell them this: change the amendments of the bill and allow a former president to reside for another term...or as many terms as it takes. bring back clinton!
*ahem* yes. anyway, at the beginning of the year [the official one], i made a resolution to eat less. the only resolution this year. that i could fit into a comfy pair of size 31 levi's by the end of the year. well. it's with great pride and dishonour to announce that i've broken that resolution. chinese new year rocks. to some extent.
yes, and that's all for this afternoon from my ignorant, ignorant mind. if you've finished with today's ranting, then i thank you...this is what happens when you have nothing better to do.
ho-hum. sonic adventure.
posted by funkyhippopotamus at
1:24:00 pm
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