Who blew Cock Robin away?

The Easter Bunny is a homosexual paedophile. He plants eggs in spots that young boys would frequent, such as the sandbox at the playground where they'd play with their toy trucks. Once the boys are ensnared into the promise of chocolate albumen, the Bunny pounces.

He stuffs them into his sack, and traverses via charter jet to Barrow, Alaska, where by he'd drift towards the Northen Pole of Inaccessibility, which is 903 miles north. From there, the Bunny would commiserate with Santa's Elves, unbeknownst to Santa, and they would together indulge themselves with the boys.

I was one of them.

It was very painful. My rectum was charged by the phalluses of a dozen disguised dirty dwarves, under the guise of being happy, holy elves. It's a memory that has forever haunted me to this day.

The Easter Bunny, or christus oryctolagus cuniculus, only comes out of hibernation during the second Sunday of April. However, there have been sightings of Bunny-like apparitions during the festivals of Hanukah and Arbor Day. Even the Jews and treehuggers are not spared from his deceit!

For decades, the Easter Bunny has propoganded himself as the proponent for goodwill and well-being, with the aim of continually fostering cordial relations between the children of the world through the distribution of chocolates in bringing good fortune. He has positioned himself in the minds of parents as a lovable, respectable, reputable and caring anthropomorphic rabbit.

I say that the farce should stop while it already has reached its ears.

Parents!

Do not be fooled by the whiskers. The adorable rabbit teeth. The long, endearing rabbit ears.

I would have more faith in the Playboy Bunny. That's a wild hare that you can caress and stroke lovingly.

The Easter Bunny is no bunny. The Easter Bunny is evil.