Band wanted.

Needed: a guitar guru who's able to make a miracle worker out of me by September 25th. It's preferable if the aforementioned guru is willing to back me up and save me the trouble of playing the guitar myself. Payment will be made in beer, or pornography; whichever option's the most suitable. It'd also be wonderful if the guru could sing harmonies. And play a wide range of obscure 60s torch songs that could be credited to me. Oh, it'd also help if the guru could play the bass as well. Or knew a willing, kind soul who plays the bass. Just in case.

Needed: a totally untested bedroom DJ who's willing to spin beats for me on the same night. It'd help if he believes that he's the second coming of Geoff Barrow, Robert Del Naja and Grant Marshall combined. Payment will be made in weed, or pornography; I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. It'd also be wonderful if the aforementioned DJ could also play the congas, bongos (for stage versatility) or has a shaker.

Needed: a mad hatter who can make a nice fedora for me. Payment will be made in Brand's Essence of Chicken, or pornography. Mayhaps the headgear can distract everybody from the fact that I have ladylike fingers.

Needed: an estrogen brigade comprising of friends, school mates, college buddies and random readers of this blog. This is an appeal to your hearts. Payment will be made through your entertainment and amusement, at my expense.

Friday, 28th of September at JamAsia (I was looking at the wrong calendar the first time round). Please don't cross me off, Mr. Delphie. It should be an interesting 15 minutes, to say the least.

I'm praying to be hit by the Lord's stick for inspiration. Or some initiative.

(Seriously, does anybody know any overzealous bedroom DJs?)