Not a creature was stirring....the wok.

Being the sole occupant of a house during a holiday stretch is priceless. Any hints of a need for immediacy vanish. Although the silence might be deafening to some, I'll never feel as comfortable in my own house as I do whenever everyone's gone out to do their own things.

I'm probably being overly dramatic about this, but being alone for short bursts of time has got to be the greatest feeling in the world. For short bursts of time, of course. It's as good as how I feel whenever I have a cigarette alone. Except that now, I bum fags off everybody else. Which makes smoking alone a hard thing.

I'm cheap. Then again, I am Chinese.

And I'm alone. Let's commiserate.

I wanted to list down three pieces of advice that my parents gave me as a child that I still keep today...and here they are.

1. Always squeeze a tube of toothpaste from the bottom.
2. Don't do drugs.
3. Always wipe your ass with four squares of toilet paper at a time.

I suppose that those are the three essential things that I needed to bring with me to my dying day.